When you really like a guy, it can be hard to reign in your enthusiasm enough to make sure you come across as normal and well-adjusted rather than insane. After all, you don’t want to scare him away before he really gets a chance to know how amazing you are, right? Well, if you do any of these things, don’t be surprised if he runs for the hills:
- Incessantly calling and texting. If you’re blowing up his phone nonstop with calls and texts because he hasn’t answered the previous ones, you’re certainly not doing yourself any favors. Not only will he probably ignore your messages, he’ll probably ignore you… for good.
- Being jealous of everyone else in his life. Being territorial and possessive of a guy you’re actually dating is bad enough as it is, but if you’re literally just starting to get to know each other and you’re flipping out about everyone else in his life, things probably aren’t going to go any further. You don’t own him, so stop acting like it and get a grip.
- Lying to please him. This is just not smart. Pretending you have the same interests, background, or whatever else just to make a guy think you’ve got so much in common is not only nuts, but it’ll backfire spectacularly somewhere down the line, even if it works for now. Don’t go there.
- Flipping out when he seemingly rejects your advances. Whether he tells you that he’s not interested in a relationship or he’s legit just busy after work and can’t hit up happy hour with you and the rest of the office, how you react to the letdown says a lot about you. If you’re flipping your crap over his apparent rejection of you, then you probably couldn’t handle a relationship with him, anyway.
- Making major changes in your life to accommodate him. Relationships require compromise, but they don’t require completely abandoning who you are to become someone you think he wants. If you change the way you dress or talk, crash diet or start applying heavy makeup just because you think it’ll make you more attractive to him, you’re in the danger zone.
- Facebook stalking his exes. Admittedly, social media makes it easy to scope out pretty much everyone these days, and we all do it at some point or another. But if you’re methodically researching his previous girlfriends to see what they were like and what you can do similar/better, you probably need to take a step back.
- Pulling a play from Fatal Attraction. If your behavior is enough to make him consider taking out a restraining order against you, that’s not romance, that’s a psychotic breakdown. Get help.
- Asking his friends and family about him. Sure, if you like a guy, you want to get to know him, but the easiest way to do that is probably by talking to him, not quizzing his friends and family about what he was like as a kid, what his goals for the future are, etc. That’s just creepy.
- Analyzing every single thing he says and does. Why did he offer to get you a coffee when he went out for lunch? He mentioned he’s going to a concert tonight — does that mean he wants you to come, too? Overthinking every last thing that comes out of his mouth is not only going to drive you crazy, it’ll probably drive him crazy, too.
- Putting up with stuff you shouldn’t. This is insane, primarily because you’re setting the tone for the rest of the relationship (or for the duration of any relationship that might develop between you eventually). If guys know they can get away with anything, they’ll either think you’re stupid, desperate or insane, and none of those are good options.
