10 Things That Are Not Required To Have Amazing Sex

10 Things That Are Not Required To Have Amazing Sex ©iStock/AleksandarNakic

The best sex happens when you’re completely comfortable and relaxed — not when you’re trying to pull moves you’ve seen in romance movies (or worse, in online sex movies). There are some things you can skip during sex if they’re not for you — you can still be amazing in bed without them.

  1. Talking dirty. Unless you really like doing it, you don’t have to start giving a play-by-play of every little thing happening while you’re in bed. A few well-placed, natural moans can go a long way.
  2. Keeping your mouth shut. Don’t hold your breath or keep quiet like you’re still leaving in your parents’ house. If you moan, let it go. Also, if your guy is doing something you don’t like or he should slow down a little, don’t be afraid to speak up. He’ll appreciate gentle encouragement if it means you’ll have a better time.
  3. Switching position 10 times in one session. Movies are notorious for showcasing a slew of unique sex positions in a single scene. The couple goes from reverse cowgirl to doggy style with a bit of missionary thrown in…along with seven other moves. But, in real life, if you find your stride with just one or two, you’re doing well. After all, you don’t want to pause everything to move around in your cool bedroom air if you were both getting into the groove.
  4. Bending into impossible shapes. Few people are acrobats. If you don’t have the kind of flexibility necessary to fold yourself into a pretzel, don’t sweat it. You don’t need to be a gymnast to be good at sex.
  5. Strapping on the sexy lingerie. Dude, no one cares. You don’t care because it seems like more trouble than it’s worth — and frankly, it’s usually super uncomfortable. He doesn’t care because, while it may be sexy for a second, he’s way more interested in what’s underneath. It doesn’t help that lingerie often takes a lot longer to remove, either.
  6. Incorporating food. OK, this is a yeast infection waiting to happen. At the very least, your sheets are going to get sticky as hell and you may have to deal with an ant problem that you don’t want to explain to your exterminator. Leave the food in the fridge where it belongs.
  7. Using lots of lube. If you’re doing everything right, you’ll get moist enough on your own. Unless you’re going through the backdoor, copious amounts of lube isn’t a necessity.
  8. Enhancing your noises. Nothing is more startling than someone letting out a big exaggerated yell while in bed. Sure, moan loudly if that’s what naturally comes out, but don’t follow website sex noises. Those girls aren’t giving their natural moans, and you shouldn’t be using them as an example. It’ll take him out of the moment and won’t be any fun for you.
  9. Focusing solely on pleasing your partner. As much as it’s important to make your partner happy, you can’t forget about yourself. Sure, the occasional quickie that’s focused on just one of you can be a fun time, but if that’s what you’re doing all the time, you’ll be incredibly unfulfilled. Take matters into your own hands. Show him what he needs to do to get you off.
  10. Going too far out of your comfort zone. While there’s something to be said for indulging your partner’s fantasies, everyone has a line they don’t want to cross. If you’re uncomfortable or feel unsafe, say no and stand your ground. Suggest something else you can do that would be fun for you both instead.
Trisha is a full time writer living in Montana. In her free time, she paints mountainscapes on her skin with body paint and reads a ton of YA lit.