If These 10 Things Scare Him Off, I Don’t Want Him Anyway

I refuse to blame myself for getting dumped. Who says it was my fault? Even if it was, a breakup might’ve been what was best for the both of us. After all, if these things scare him off, then I don’t want him anyway:

  1. Knowing what I want. I’m not going to apologize for letting you know how I feel. I’m happy that I know what I want, and you should be happy that I’m being honest with you. If my decision to be blunt instead of playing mind games with you for months scares you away, then good riddance.
  2. Having high standards in love. I’m not going to accept being treated like trash. I’m going to expect you to act like the respectful gentleman I deserve, but if those expectations are too high for you, I don’t mind if you head for the door. It was built for men like you.
  3. Asking understandable questions. If we’re together, I have a right to ask you where you’re going and what time you’re leaving the house. It’s not like I’m crossing a boundary by asking you a personal question. If you don’t want to fill me in on basic things, then I don’t want you period.
  4. Finding out about my past. It shouldn’t matter how high or low my number is. It shouldn’t matter how long I’ve been single for or how long I’ve dated my exes for, either. All that should matter is how we feel about each other, and if you can’t see that, then we should stop seeing each other.
  5. Getting serious. If you flip out when I leave a toothbrush at your place after months of dating, then you’re fighting hard to hold on to your single life. If you don’t want something serious and I do, we shouldn’t be together, anyway.
  6. Sending texts throughout the day. If I want to talk to you, I’m going to talk to you. If you think that my messages are smothering you, then you’re not ready for a real relationship. The texting is only the beginning.
  7. Having tiny fights. Couples argue. It’s part of being in a long-term relationship. If you run away at the first sign of confrontation, then we never stood a chance, anyway.
  8. Bringing up the future. If we’ve been dating for a while, then the topic of marriage is going to pop up. If you can’t have a hypothetical conversation about our wedding, or even tell me whether or not you plan on marrying me at all, then you’re wasting my time.
  9. Expecting attention in the bedroom. I expect my boyfriend to make me orgasm, or at least to try to. If he leaves, because he’d rather be with someone who thinks sex is all about male pleasure, then good luck to him.
  10. Seeing “the real” me. I don’t act fake in the beginning of relationships, but I do try hard to be the best version of myself. If a man leaves me once I get used to him and stop dressing up whenever he stops by for a visit, then that’s okay. If he doesn’t like the real me, I’ll find someone else who does.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.