10 Things Single Girls Do That Are Creepy AF

When we’re really into a guy, there’s no limit to the weird and cringeworthy things we do because of it. It’s embarrassing in hindsight, but in the moment, there’s basically no reigning in the crazy. In fact, we can be creepy AF in love, albeit in a pretty harmless way — here’s proof:

  1. We stalk our crushes (and everyone they’ve ever known) online. We can lose ourselves for hours cyber stalking our crushes. Not only will we creep his Facebook page over and over again, sometimes several times per day, but we’ll also scroll down his friends’ and family members’ accounts, as well as his ex-girlfriends. The internet makes being a stalker way too easy nowadays.
  2. We imagine what our lives together would be like in creepily specific detail. We picture everything from how he’ll propose to what the actual wedding will be like and where we’ll move when we retire in 35 years. Maybe we’ll get a dog… but not before we move in together into a super chic apartment. Also, he’ll make lasagna for the two of us after a long day’s work at the office and then we’ll watch Netflix together and cuddle on the couch. The only problem is, we aren’t even seeing each other. Yikes!
  3. We say our names with his in our head to see if it sounds good together. We did it when we were 12 years old, and guess what — old habits die hard. What if we got married? We’re just making sure our names would still sound good together, right? We’re just practicing for when we actually have to say it out loud.
  4. We stare at guys and then look away as if we’re trying to be cute. We’re not actually trying to flirt. We’re just being creepy and guys happen to mistake it for some kind of expert technique. Yes, we’re showing interest in a sexy, intriguing way — but it’s not on purpose. We’re low-key freaking out inside. Trust.
  5. We outright hate any girl who’s in a photo with him. This one is super embarrassing, but it has to be said. Once we meet a cute guy and start cyber stalking him online, there’s no doubt that we will be clicking on that hot girl he’s with at the beach. Who is she and what is she doing with our future boyfriend? Whoever she is, we hate her… even though we don’t even know her or who she is to our guy.
  6. We find out his astrological sign and then see if we’re compatible. Everyone knows that Taurus and Cancer are made for romance and that Aquarius and Leo will only end up in disaster. When we find a guy we like, we want to know everything about him, including his birthday. Not because we want to make sure we get invited to his party, but to see if our relationship is written in the stars.
  7. We obsessively re-read our text conversations and see if there are any clues he likes us back. What did he mean exactly when he said “see you later”? Was it because he wanted to see us later and was waiting for us to ask him out? Or maybe it’s because he’s planning on seeing us later and is going to surprise us. Should we be excited? Probably not, but we’ll obsess over it anyway just because we can.
  8. Wherever he is, we are too. We’ll go to great lengths just to hang out with him, even if it’s in a group setting. Sometimes we’ll just stand near him like the creepy stalkers that we are. We just wanna keep looking at his cute face. Sometimes this even means turning up at bars or sports games just because we know he’s going to be there. It’s weird and a little intense, but it happens.
  9. We ask really specific questions and then pretend not to care. This happens when we want to get to know him but also don’t want to come off as needy. We’ll drop the occasional question like, “What did you get up to last night?” or, “What neighborhood do you live in?” and will proceed to make a huge story in our head based on the answer, all while acting like we’re kind of unimpressed or uninterested. Little does he know our minds are going a mile a minute.
  10. We smell him. This is for all the hardcore stalker types out there. If he’s standing beside us and we happen to breathe in, yeah, we’re sniffing him… but it’s not like we did it on purpose. He just gets that cologne to pheromone ratio so right. How are we supposed to help ourselves? We’re only human.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.
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