10 Things to Stop Telling Yourself When You’re Single

10 Things to Stop Telling Yourself When You’re Single ©iStock/AleksandarNakic

Movies tell us that being single is a terrible affliction that can turn an otherwise beautiful and lovely 30-something woman into a walking failure. We’re nothing if we aren’t in a relationship, right? Wrong. Don’t use these excuses as a way to prevent you finding someone new. You’re better than this.

  1. “I’m going to be single forever.” No you aren’t — not if you’re actively looking for a relationship (and probably even if you aren’t). Even if it’s been years since your last relationship, that’s not an indication that you’ll die alone. Cheer up.
  2. “Nobody likes me.” Just because no one has asked you out in a while doesn’t mean there aren’t people out there who have feelings for you. Think of all the people you see in your life, even just attractive strangers, that you think about but never approach. You’re that person for other people, too. Latte Guy at your favorite coffee shop might have the serious hots for you.
  3. “I hate being single.” Yes, being single can suck, but it’s not the end of the world. Instead of focusing so much on your lack of a relationship, direct that energy elsewhere, like getting really good at modern dance or learning a new language — something that will enrich your life and has nothing to do with romance.
  4. “I love being single.” If you really believe this, great. There’s nothing wrong with being single and loving it. But don’t use that phrase as a way to hide from how you truly feel.
  5. “I think I’ll ask my ex why it didn’t work…” Introspection is one thing, but don’t give into the urge to ask your ex why you broke up. It’ll just open old wounds and make you look a little scary. As Elsa drilled into all of our heads, “Let it go.”
  6. “Maybe I should just settle.” I know what you’re thinking. You’d be in a relationship already if you just said yes to every guy that was interested in you. But remember, being single is better than being in a bad relationship. You should have standards, girl.
  7. “No one is good enough for me.” Just like you shouldn’t date any guy who asks, you shouldn’t be so picky that you’re turning away potentially awesome dates. Be willing to widen your view of what makes a great boyfriend.
  8. “I don’t want to get set up.” Sure, setups and blind dates can be disasters, but sometimes your friends know the exact right person for you. Don’t regret missing the right guy just because you found setups nerve-racking.
  9. “There are no single guys in this town.” Some towns are better for singles than others, but few have absolutely zero eligible guys. Just get out there and try a little harder.
  10. “You’re all I need, Fluffy.” Your little kitty or puppy is adorable for sure, but they’re not going to be a good substitute for a real relationship. Stick to humans.
Trisha is a full time writer living in Montana. In her free time, she paints mountainscapes on her skin with body paint and reads a ton of YA lit.