Alcohol and friends are a magical combination. Booze gradually strips away all the filters you usually employ in civilized conversation and friends exacerbate every inappropriate thing that makes its way into the open. With this kind of atmosphere, you know you’re going to have an excellent night because hilarious things are bound to happen when you get hammered with your homies.
Uncontrollable giggle fits. Alcohol is an essential ingredient in uncontrollable giggle fits. The dumbest things set you guys off and before you know it, you’re all in tears and your legs have turned into jelly. The more you drink, the worse this gets.
Playful insults. What’s the point of getting drunk with your friends without ripping on each other? An insult-free gathering isn’t a trip out to the bars, it’s an early morning church service with your senile grandparents. Unleash those vile swear words, awkward observations and goofy facial expressions.
Annoying the crap out of bystanders. Those poor bastards. Getting stuck in your drunken vicinity is probably the worst thing that’s ever happened to them. They have been involuntarily exposed to your radioactive craziness and it will take decades of therapy to recover. You people are monsters. Monsters.
Formation of new inside jokes. You guys are crazy yet brilliant wizards and the cauldron you’re stirring is brewing some impeccable inside jokes. The booze fuels your creativity and your ideas are endless. After so many nights of drinking and joke-making, you and your friends could probably fill up an entire set of Encyclopedias with your insanity.
Making new friends. Drunks are such a friendly people. When everyone around you is also drunk, making new friends is practically guaranteed. All you have to do is connect over something weird and loud and boom, you now have a new friend. It’s like kindergarten all over again!
Unnecessary group trips to the bathroom. Do all five of you really need to go to the bathroom at the same time? Probably not, but it’s happening anyway. You can’t let one or two of your friends go to the bathroom and risk missing out on some priceless shenanigans. You must be in each other’s business all night, no matter how weird it appears to outsiders.
Random philosophical conversations. What is it about booze that makes people get so deep? When everyone hits just the right amount, your conversation goes from immature to sentimental. You talk about strange theories you have and being drunk means that no matter how insane they are, they make so much sense.
Judgmental people watching. Anything in your sight is fair game. You make fun of people unabashedly without realizing that they are probably doing the same thing to your group. Alcohol does not excuse crappy behaviour but you’re too drunk to care. Nature is cruel.
Unintentionally scaring guys. You’re open to conversation with and meeting new men, but your disturbed, drunk selves are creating an impenetrable force field around your table. Dudes either don’t want to come anywhere near you or they bail within minutes of starting a dialogue with your group. You and your friends have become the embodiment of penis repellant.
Ruined plans. It’s easy to make epic plans before you start drinking, but after you’re drunk, those plans can easily go to hell. Your drunk selves are entirely different people sometimes. You might have grand plans to hit up every bar in town, but drunk you and company might feel completely spent after just one or two of them. Or, you might not even make it out. Maybe everyone gets too drunk pre-gaming at home and you all say, “Screw it” and decide to stay in and watch crappy movies all night. It’s okay though. No one is judging you and no one thinks you’re lame. Probably.
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