You can choose to stop dating for any number of reasons. Maybe you’re tired of the dating scene, and who could blame you? Maybe you’re just focusing on your career for now or spending time on self-care instead of looking for love. Whatever your motivation for flying solo for now (or forever!), you might experience some unexpected side effects.
- You rediscover quietness and get to take a deep breath. When you decide not to date, you suddenly find more time. Weekends especially open up. Because most of your friends are either coupled or dating, you have more time to yourself. Social media and television may take up a lot of that time at first, but they get old really fast and you start to appreciate quiet activities, like reading, hobbies, and interests you didn’t have time for before.
- You reconnect with people and make new friends. Now that you’ve removed yourself from the dating scene, you have time to do things with people that you haven’t seen in a long time. You make plans to do things with people that you were too busy to see before. You might also make friends with people that you would not have become friends with in the past because your schedule was too tight. It’s actually really nice.
- You think more about what you really want. It’s amazing how much time people spend thinking about dating and finding people to date! When you stop thinking about that, you have more time to think about your goals and dreams and, better yet, you have time to figure out how you can make them happen!
- You find you have time to learn new things. Have you thought about learning a new language or skill? You might not have had time for that before, but you do now. Invest in learning to do things that give you pleasure. Use the time you once spent dating to start a new hobby, join a sports team, or volunteer for a cause.
- You have more money to play with. Let’s face it – dating costs money, whether you’re paying for the dates or the other person is. When you’re dating, you need to buy new clothes and pay for transportation. When you stay single for a period of time, you find out you have a lot more money than you may have thought! Depending on your personal preferences, you may have other costs too. What will you spend your extra money on? Or will you save it?
- You have less stress. Dating can be anxiety-inducing for many people. First dates are especially stressful because you don’t know what you’re going to encounter. When Saturday night doesn’t mean another date with someone you got fixed up with or met at a coffee shop, you can relax and do what you want to do and spend time with people you know will make you happy.
- You learn to take care of yourself. Looking towards others to take care of certain needs is considered “normal” in our society. Yes, those needs. When you stop dating, you realize that no one is going to take care of those needs, so you better learn to take care of them yourself! And guess what? The better you get at taking care of them, the more confident you’ll feel when and if you start dating again. Also, you’ll be able to guide someone else in taking care of those needs in the future.
- You eat at home more often. Dating often means going out to eat. Since you’re not dating anymore, you have time to learn to cook for yourself. Not only can you cook your favorite meals at home, but it costs less so you have more money to figure out what to do with!
- You realize that perfectly imperfect is just fine. Dating can wreak havoc on your ego. Did I talk too much? Was my makeup too heavy? Should I whiten my teeth? The questions that run through our minds after a bad date can make you feel very small. When you aren’t busy questioning yourself, you learn to love your imperfections.
- You get asked out on a lot more dates. People want what they can have. Someone who doesn’t date becomes more interesting to people who are dating, so expect to get asked out on dates more often than you ever did before. Don’t make this your reason to stop dating, but you should know that it will probably happen. Part of the reason for this is that you become a challenge to daters, but another reason is that the less you date, the more confident you will appear. Stay strong. If you have set a period of time to stay out of the dating game, stick to it. If you have more self-work to do, keep at it. You can go back to dating whenever you want to, but don’t start dating again just because you’re getting asked out more often.
