When I was a kid, I had a nearly perfect outline of how my life would go. I would finish school, meet an amazing guy, get married, buy a house, have a kid or two and live happily ever after. At 15, it was easy to think my entire life would be pretty much figured out when I reached my mid-20s (which used to be considered “old AF” to me). But now that I’m starting my 25th year, I’m actually happy with how many things I’ve failed to accomplish.
I thought I would have the perfect career. The perfect career doesn’t just happen — it takes work, years and years of work, to obtain. I’m currently in the process of building up my resume to get that perfect career and in my opinion, this is the fun part! I’m experimenting with different career paths because I can. I’m happy I don’t have my dream job yet. If I did, I probably wouldn’t have the freedom I do now.
I thought I would’ve stopped dating toxic guys. One of the biggest shockers of my life is how horrible dating can be. In my wildest dreams, I never would’ve thought at 24 I’d be having to deal with grown men who’re afraid to commit to anything remotely resembling a relationship. But even though I’m more disappointed than happy, I believe I’m now more aware of what I want to see in a man and that’s because of the jerks I’ve dated.
I thought I’d own my own house. I used to want to own a home so bad and I almost started the process… until I realized how unsure I was about my life. I don’t even know what kind of career I’m going to have in the next couple of years—why would I own a home only to have to sell or lease it if I end up becoming a famous model in New York or California? (Kidding about the modeling thing, but real talk: anything is possible).
I thought I would move away from my hometown. When I was in college, two hours away from my hometown, I wanted nothing more than to graduate and find a job out of state. When I ended up moving back home with my parents, it felt like the worst thing ever…but it really wasn’t. Being around family right after college was honestly such a blessing. I was able to save money, reconnect with old friends, and take risks I never would’ve been able to take if I was in a new city with no support system.
I thought I would lose friends. Most of the friends I have, minus a few college exceptions, are people I met when I was in kindergarten (to put that in perspective for you, I’ll be 25 this year). I can’t tell you how amazing it is to have people around you who know you so well because they’ve been with you for over 20 years. I’m happy life didn’t happen and force me to lose friendships.
I thought I’d have kids. I couldn’t be happier to not be a parent right now. I look at some of the girls I went to high school with who are pregnant with one or two kids and I just don’t know how they do it. Everyone’s different and for some, a family is a number one priority. I personally can’t relate to that. I thought I could when I was younger, but now, I couldn’t imagine having kids — my life is way too messy for that.
I thought I’d be married. I’ve met a couple of amazing guys but they weren’t amazing for me. I used to think all I needed was a handsome, smart, and successful man. But after dating, and being dumped, I’ve realized what I need isn’t an “amazing guy” it’s a guy who’s personality aligns well with mine. I would’ve never learned that if I had married the first amazing guy I met.
I thought all my friends would be married too. A lot of my friends have friends who’re married and raising their children but (bless up!) I don’t! And I’m so happy about that. Not to sound like a bitch, but if all of my friends were getting married before me, I think I’d start stressing (even more so) about my perpetual single status. Thankful my friends are just as single as me!
I thought I’d be more emotionally stable. One of the ways I got through my dramatic teen years was by telling myself how emotionally stable I’d be in my 20s. I clearly lied to myself because I think my emotions are even more unstable than they were when I was 16 (not sure how that’s even possible). I’m constantly pissed off, doubting myself, and retreating to my bedroom to be alone with Netflix. But hey, you’ve got to be lost before you get found, right?
I thought I’d have my act together. If I had my act together now, what would there be to look forward to in my late 20s (or dare I say, my 30s)?
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