10 Things To Know About Breakup Sex Before You Have It

Maybe your partner looked really hot on the day of your breakup or you thought it would be cool to end the relationship on a high note. Whatever the reason for having breakup sex, make sure you consider these 10 things before you get undressed.

  1. It can’t really give you closure. Think about it for a second: is having one last round of sex with your partner really going to make you feel that you can close the book on the relationship and move on? Sex can be powerful, but it doesn’t have that much power. In actual fact, it could cause the opposite to happen.
  2. It can stir things up. You might’ve stuck to your guns about leaving your partner but now that you have sex again, it can easily stir up those old feelings and even mess with your head a little, like by making you feel that you could be making a mistake by walking away.
  3. You might be fooling yourself. Are you really cool with having sex with your ex for some fun or are you hoping that it will make your partner want to take back their breakup speech? Yikes. If the latter’s what’s going on, you could end up very disappointed.
  4. You’re worth more than that. Taking the above point one step further, if your partner’s the one who wants to end things and you’re going along with having one last sex session, you might end up feeling used. You’re worth so much more than great sex! Ask yourself: do they really deserve to have sex with you again if they’re breaking up with you? Hmmm.
  5. The hormones can mess with you. Sex can be really powerful and make you feel major attraction to your partner. This is something you don’t want to take with you when you leave your relationship. It’s just confusing and you don’t need all that baggage. Cut the ties and walk away. You’ll thank yourself later.
  6. It can delay your healing. Say you broke up with your partner two weeks ago and then last week they got in touch and wanted to have sex again. You decided to go for it. The drawback? It might actually make you feel like your healing from the breakup is being delayed or dragged out. Sometimes the only way to end a relationship is to make a clean break. Rip off the metaphorical plaster instead of your ex’s clothes.
  7. It can open the door to more interactions. If the breakup sex was amazing, your ex might think it’s fine if it opens the door to friendship, a FWB setup, or just regular chats via text. This can make things awkward if you’re not on the same page. Worse, it can make you depend on each other instead of move on.
  8. It shouldn’t just happen. The most important thing to remember about breakup sex is that it’s going to be different for different people, and different for you depending on your partner. So, you have to ensure you think it through before going through with it so that you make the best choice for yourself and don’t wake up with regrets the next morning.
  9. It might help you to move on, though. There is one instance when breakup sex could help you to move on for good. And that’s if the sex is really bad or there’s just no connection felt with your partner. This could confirm to you that you’re good without them in your life and help you to realize that you can leave the relationship without wondering if things could’ve been different. But again, do you really need bad sex to show you that?
  10. It’s not about helping your partner move on. If you end up having breakup sex because you feel bad for your partner, that’s a huge no-no! Leave their house right now or send them packing out of yours because you should never use sex as a way to help them heal their wounds. They need to do that for themselves instead of bringing you down with their drama. What if it ends up setting you back? Ugh, it’s not worth it.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.