So maybe the single life isn’t a long-term setup to mesh with your future plans, but that certainly doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it! In fact, some things are actually a lot better when you’re single. Enjoy them while you can.
Poo in peace
Relationship pooping is much more complicated, and sleepovers multiply the potential dangers by infinite proportions. Spending the morning together means trying to figure out a time to go so that he won’t suspect what you’re up to, or heaven forbid hear you go. Good luck relaxing while you try to keep things muffled when you can hear every move he’s making on the other side of the door. Single status means poop anytime with total abandon.
Pluck away or go jungle
It’s difficult enough trying to get ready in the same bathroom as a guy, but bring grooming habits like plucking, waxing, and dying into the equation and you can just forget about it. Being single means you can spend 10 minutes of uninterrupted time in the living room where the best lighting is to try and pluck that persistent stray hair that keeps sprouting under your bellybutton. Men just don’t need to see that. Or, even better, when you’re on your own, you can let things grow wild. Why the hell not?
Be a pig
The single life frees you up to make whatever choices you feel necessary when it comes to your eating habits. Maybe you feel like drinking your juice cleanse formally at the dining room table without being tempted by your guy’s hamburger. Or maybe you want to eat messy pasta in bed with just a pillow across your lap to defend your covers against food stains. You are the queen of this apartment.
A partnership requires compromises, and some of the most important ones come down to — the remote. When you’re single, you’re free to watch The Real Housewives of Wherever, Scandal, or New Girl, or even cry your eyes out over the latest tearjerker, pausing of course for mirror checks to see how your cry face is looking. It’s awesome.
Sure, sure, cuddling is cute. But there is no better sleep than having the freedom to sprawl out and thrash as you like, as opposed to blanket tug of wars in the dead of night, cold feet, spooning positions that aren’t really that comfortable, snoring, your feeble attempt to hide your snoring, early wake up calls, and just generally a lot more complications. When you’re single you set the bedtime, wake up time, and everything in between.
It can be nice to get helpful feedback when it’s warranted, but being single means you don’t have to consider how you’re affecting your man’s life in regards to the decisions you make. You’re free to switch jobs on a whim, dye your hair, move, or stop eating meat, all without worrying about what your significant other thinks about it.
Not to sound like a kid who flunked preschool, but being single means you don’t have to share everything. There are eggs in the refrigerator where you left them all ready for omelet Sunday, staples in the stapler when you need them, and the free time on the schedule is all yours to fill in.
Hang with the guys
Certainly not all boyfriends have a ban on platonic boy friends, but not all of them are shoving their ladies out the door into the arms of other men either. When you’re single you can hang out with your chill guy friends whenever you want, and crash on their couch without having to update anyone on your whereabouts. That little crush your best guy friend has on you isn’t hurting anyone.
Be blah in private
Whether it’s that time of the month or just a bad day, sometimes things can just feel off. Hiding under the covers isn’t always an option but at least when you’re single you can retreat into your shell when necessary and avoid that whole lashing out thing that can happen when people you love push your buttons.
No beau means you can host pajama parties on a whim, or get a little too tipsy and hit the club with the ladies in your sexiest outfit. Flirting with cute guys is always on the table and you can end as many nights with random makeout sessions as your little heart desires.
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