Confession: I kind of love Tinder. It’s easy, it’s convenient and it’s gotten me more good dates than creepy ones, and that means a lot to a single girl navigating all this crazy stuff. It’s nice that I don’t have to waste time writing a super long profile, but the tiny bio area on my profile doesn’t leave a ton of room for showing your personality — not to mention all the other important things I wish I could say:
- If you don’t want to go on an actual date, don’t message me. Same goes for if you don’t live in my city, are visiting for a few days or are in an open relationship. It’s insane how many guys have messaged me and had no intention of actually meeting IRL. Sorry but isn’t that the point of a dating app?
- It may seem weird but I want an actual relationship. Sounds crazy. Who wants to be in love and share their life with someone else? Who wants security and compassion and friendship and all that? Sounds terrible, I know, but it’s what I’m looking for. If I could be super upfront about this, it would make things so much easier.
- I’m not a travel-holic. There’s something about guys who love to travel the world and dating apps. They go together like peanut butter and jelly. If you have a case of wanderlust and want to see the planet, that’s cool but right now I’m super focused on my work life. Please don’t message me and waste my time if you’re looking for a globe-trotting partner.
- I don’t complain about anything. Not my job. Not the weather. Not even Tinder (at least not until we’re actually dating). If you want someone to be as lazy and whine as much as you do, that’s cool, but you’re probably not the right guy for me.
- I don’t want a friend. Last time I checked, this was an app for dating and hooking up, not making new friends. Don’t chat with me for an hour and then tell me you just want a new friend when we’re in the middle of making a plan. Just don’t.
- I’m not a stereotype. I’m not going to yell at you if you don’t pay the bill. I’m not going to beg you to be my boyfriend or trap you into anything. If you’re looking for a stereotype of a woman instead of an actual human being, look elsewhere.
- I watch reality TV but that doesn’t make me stupid. When we start chatting, TV is obviously going to come up because it’s pretty much the best thing ever. When you ask what I watch, I’m going to say OITNB and all that, but also The Real Housewives. We might as well get it out of the way right now. And no, it doesn’t make me an idiot. It’s just a fun escape.
- I’m not going to chat 24/7. No chatting on the app for days or even weeks. No excessive texting before we meet. It’s just not going to happen, so if you want an online pen pal, I’m not your girl.
- I don’t want to hear your sob stories. I’m sure girls have flaked out on you, because that’s just life, but I don’t need to hear about it — especially when we’ve just started talking.
- I don’t care how tall you are. Seriously. This doesn’t need to be in your bio. And please don’t ask me how tall I am, because that’s just creepy.
