Whether intentionally or unconsciously, there may be certain things you’re doing that are pushing your boyfriend away, especially if you’re out of tune with his emotional needs. When this happens, it’s important to take a step back and reflect on how your own actions may be pulling the two of you apart. Are you guilty of any of these behaviors?
- Having A Problem With His Female Friends He’s not going to stick around long if you’re creating drama within his friend circle. It’s normal to feel slightly jealous of your man’s close female friends, but unlike how the movies make it seem, it’s completely possible for men and women to have platonic relationships. But if you’re constantly questioning if there’s more to his female friendships, it’ll become clear you don’t trust him.
- Letting Your Insecurities Control The Relationship This goes hand-in-hand with the last point. If you have a habit of allowing your insecurities to dictate the course of your relationship, whether they dominate your conversations or rule your actions, he’s going to get tired quickly. Whereas confidence is a major point of attraction, insecurities are a sign of immaturity. If your insecurities are causing problems at the beginning of the relationship, he’ll quickly begin to feel like the course of the relationship is taking a negative turn.
- Constantly Fishing For Compliments If your love language is, well, language, then don’t be afraid to tell him that you thrive when he vocalizes his affection for you. But there’s a fine line between asserting your needs and fishing for compliments. If you’re constantly nagging at him to say you’re beautiful and smart, especially if you’re comparing yourself to other women, it’ll get old fast. It’s a sign of insecurity and immaturity, two things that are major turn-offs for most men.
- Overanalyzing His Words & Actions If you’re constantly trying to read into his messages and actions, expect him to get annoyed quickly. Especially at the beginning of a relationship, things should feel easy and go-with-the-flow. But if you constantly question whether there’s an ulterior motive or meaning in what he does and says, he’ll feel as though you don’t trust him or respect him enough to take what he says at face value.
- Doubting That He’s Been Truthful (Or Faithful) Overanalyzing his words and actions isn’t the only way to push a guy away. It’s even worse if you doubt what he does and says. If you’re constantly asking where he’s been, who he’s been with, and even more, express doubt in his answers, he won’t feel like you respect or trust him. Trust issues are one of the leading reasons for break-ups, so if you’re struggling to accept what he says at the start of a relationship, things likely aren’t going to get better in the long run.
- Acting Like You’re Attached At The Hip If there’s one thing you shouldn’t be, it’s needy. Neediness puts a strain on any relationship, romantic or otherwise. It’s not healthy to expect the two of you to spend all of your free time together. You’ll get annoyed by one another quickly. Even more, if he feels you’re not supportive of his passions and projects or that you’re not giving him the time to pursue these things, he’ll feel as though you’re holding him back. In response, he’ll start to pull away.
- Comparing Him To Your Exes Leave your past relationships in the past, or at the very least, don’t bring them up to your current significant other. That’s what you have friends for. It doesn’t bode well on his self-esteem if you’re constantly comparing him to your exes, especially if it’s to express that you miss certain things from past relationships. He may even get the impression you’re still caught up on your ex.
- Becoming Emotionally Overdependent On Him This is a form of neediness, but it goes farther than simply expecting the two of you to be attached at the hip. Being overly emotionally dependent on someone is expecting them to be there to comfort you at all times, and even more, to have a solution to your problems. If this sounds like you, then your expectations are too high and unrealistic. He’ll soon feel turned off by the amount of pressure you’ve put on him to satisfy your every emotional need.
- Not Considering His Feelings Thanks to gender roles, it’s too easy to assume that guys don’t have many feelings or at least not as much as women. But that’s a huge mistake! Even if he’s not as expressive with his emotions as you are, that doesn’t mean they’re not there. If you’re constantly dismissing his feelings, he’ll struggle to form a genuine emotional connection to you. He won’t feel cared for or appreciated, something everyone wants out of a relationship even if they don’t express it.
- Pressuring Him To Commit Too Soon Finally, one of the biggest ways to push a guy away is to try and get him to commit too soon. Haven’t you seen He’s Just Not That Into You? While it’s good to be clear about your expectations, you don’t want your significant other to feel as though you’re rushing things or pressuring them to put a label on the relationship. You want the relationship to progress naturally not superficially. You need to give him the space he needs. Ultimately, if he’s taking longer to commit than you’d like, it’s okay to walk away. But it’s not okay to pressure someone into something they’re not ready for, especially when they’ve expressed that to you. If you do, he may walk away from the relationship before you get a chance to.
Remember, while you may be guilty of the aforementioned things that could be pushing him away, it could also be a sign that the relationship just isn’t working for either of you. Take time to reflect on not only your own actions but if you’re ever going to get what you want out of this relationship.