10 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Friend

Some of the best relationships are built from strong friendships, but that doesn’t mean you should make your platonic relationship romantic just because you’re bored or have a minor crush. You don’t want to ruin your friendship and you definitely don’t want to embarrass yourself. Here’s everything you should consider before trying to be more than friends.

  1. You have a solid foundation, at least. The best relationships start from a solid friendship, so don’t feel bad about wanting more. It could actually be a good thing! If you’re able to successfully move your friendship to something romantic, there’s a chance you two will work long-term. After all, you know each other really well and have experience communicating. You have the background needed for a successful and healthy relationship.
  2. Just because you work as friends doesn’t mean you’ll gel romantically. Who hasn’t had a crush on a friend before! It’s hard not to — especially when they’re cool (and you find them attractive). But not every friendship should turn romantic. Before you make a move, consider the type of friend they are. Do they make you feel emotionally safe or are they just a good drinking buddy? The answer to this question will determine if you’re attracted for the right reasons and whether you should fight for a relationship.
  3. Their relationship history will have an effect on you. If they’re your friend, you probably know whether or not they’re single, but that’s not all you need to know. When was their last relationship? How long were they together? Why did it end? What kind of dater are they? If they’re known for being a player, you might want to reconsider being more than friends. If they just got out of a long-term relationship, you should probably wait before making a move.
  4. You might lose a friend if they don’t feel the same (or even if they do). That’s something you need to be prepared for. They might not see you in a romantic way, and if they reject you, it’ll be difficult to go back to how things were. It’s incredibly important you think long and hard before trying to move your relationship to something more serious.
  5. It’s important to test the waters. Don’t bring up a relationship until you test the waters. Flirting is a safe and subtle way to figure out whether they’re interested in being more than friends. The goal is to make them think, “Is she flirting with me?” without being too obvious. So hug them a little too tight or compliment their new haircut. Make your flirting known so you can tell whether they’re flirting back.
  6. You shouldn’t just make a move. You might be tempted to just make a move. YOLO, right? No! While you might think it’s courageous to kiss them out of nowhere, it’s not necessarily a good idea. Not only could you potentially ruin a friendship, but you could embarrass the hell out of yourself. If they respond to your flirting, have a conversation with them about where you’re both at.
  7. It’s important to be Clear And Honest. Why do you like them? Whatever the reason, make sure you tell them. They need to have a clear understanding of your emotions so they know how serious this is. Don’t make a joke out of it and don’t try to be casual. Relationships fail due to a lack of communication. Make sure they know what you’re feeling, as well as your expectations if things move forward
  8. You probably shouldn’t Advertise It. If you decide to take your relationship to the next level, proceed with caution. Don’t tell everyone! I’m not saying it should be a secret, but give it some time. You guys need to adjust to your new normal without outside opinions and possible judgment. Before you put it on social media and tell your grandmother, make sure you’re both comfortable and confident in the relationship.
  9. Expect The Awkward. The truth is, things will be very awkward at the beginning. There’s no getting around that. Your first “date” will be interesting, to stay the least. And the sex? HELLA AWKWARD. And that’s okay! Awkwardness doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed. With practice, things will improve. Hang in there!
  10. If It’s Not Working, Don’t Stay. It’s not easy to walk away from a relationship, especially not one that started as a friendship. You got out of your comfort zone and fought for what you wanted. But unfortunately, you realized there’s a difference between friendship chemistry and relationship chemistry. It’s upsetting, I know, but don’t stay with them because you’re too embarrassed to leave. If the relationship isn’t working, talk to them about it. There’s a chance they feel the same, which means you could go back to being friends.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.