First dates are usually when we’re trying to put our best foot forward, but part of what makes them so awkward is that we’re so preoccupied with how we’re coming across that we forget to be ourselves. You might think little white lies are no big deal in the beginning, but you’re really just setting yourself up for a potentially awkward situation later that’s completely avoidable if you’re just yourself from the beginning. Here are some things we should stop lying about immediately:
- What you do for a living. Your career is a huge part of your life. You went to school to be able to do it, you probably spend eight hours a day working on it, and hopefully it’s something you enjoy and you’re proud of. If for some reason a guy has a problem with how you make money, or has absolutely no interest in hearing about it, it’s probably better that you know sooner rather than later.
- What area you live in. If you don’t live downtown, why would you pretend you do? Even if you think it will appeal to him more if you’re close by, unless you plan on moving in the next few weeks, he’s going to find out the truth eventually.
- How much you really like sports. Whether you’re downplaying your obsession with a certain football team, or exaggerating how often you watch hockey, your bluff will eventually be called. He’s probably not looking for a girl who likes all the same things as him anyway, so don’t worry if your sports trivia knowledge doesn’t quite match up.
- Your dietary preferences. It’s understandable if you don’t want to make choosing a restaurant you’ll both enjoy too much of a hassle. But would you rather just let him take you to a steak house when you’re a vegan? Didn’t think so. He’d rather you were just honest about it.
- Your intentions. Not that you have to tell your date that you want to get married in the next year and hope to have three kids or anything. But try to be clear about whether you’re looking for friends, casual dating, a relationship, or just a hook up. It’s just easier for everyone if you know you’re on the same page.
- What and how much you drink. If you’re not a beer girl, don’t order a beer. Bars and restaurants have a pretty big selection of beverages, alcoholic or not, so you shouldn’t feel obligated to order the same thing as him. And if you don’t really drink, don’t pretend you actually want that vodka and soda he insisted on ordering for you.
- Your knowledge of politics. Politics are best avoided on the first few dates, but in an election year, it’s hard to get people to shut up about it. If you don’t know much, don’t pretend you do, because you’ll end up completely misinterpreting a headline you saw in passing and just sound stupid.
- Your favourite music. If you love Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber, own it. He probably automatically assumes you do anyway. But if death metal is more your thing, feel free to set him straight.
- That you’re willing to pay when you’re not. If you’re going to offer to pay for your half on a date, then you actually have to be willing to follow through. A lot of guys won’t take you up on it anyway, but if they do, you have to at least try not to judge them for it. If you’re too traditional to be okay with it, then don’t offer in the first place.
- If you want to see them again. At the end of a lukewarm date, you probably just want to get out of there and proceed to ignore any follow up texts he sends you. But if he asks you in person if you’d want to go out again, maybe you should take that opportunity to be honest and let him down easy. If he reacts poorly, that’s on him, because you did the right thing.
