Being in a relationship is all about being able to compromise. If you want to be with someone, you might have to might a sacrifice or two along the way. Hopefully you’re doing it because you want to, and for the most part, you come to decisions together. A controlling guy will start off by setting a precedent where you’re the one who does the majority of the compromising. He’ll make you rely on him to help you make decisions until eventually, letting him dictate who you are just feels natural. But it’s not. There’s no reason for a guy to ever tell you what to do, because if you’re in a healthy relationship, not only will you be comfortable being yourself, he wouldn’t want it any other way, either. Here are some things your boyfriend never gets a say in, no matter what he thinks.
- Who you’re friends with. Your friends have probably been around a lot longer than he has, and you don’t want to be one of those girls who chooses a guy over her friends. If he doesn’t want you hanging around with someone it’s probably because he knows that particular friend has him figured out, and he feels threatened. That alone is a great reason to keep that friend close, because she’ll be able to be objective when you can’t be.
- What you eat. This also covers whether you could stand to lose a little weight or not. If he doesn’t love your body just the way it is, he’s free to leave and find a girl who meets his ridiculous standards.
- What clothes you wear. You should wear what’s comfortable and looks good on you. He’s not your father and he has no right to tell you that you can’t leave the house unless you cover up. If you want to wear something specifically for him, that’s your choice. Beyond that, he has no say over your wardrobe choices.
- How you do your hair or makeup. Just like he shouldn’t be telling you what to wear, there’s no reason he should have any say over your beauty routine. Of course we’ll all do certain things, like wear a certain perfume for example, if we know he likes it. But that’s different than him giving you permission to look a certain way.
- Where your career is going. We all ask other people’s advice when we’re unsure about a big career decision. But ultimately, which path you go down is up to you. If he wants a woman who will put her career goals on the back burner for him, then maybe he isn’t the right guy for you.
- How often you see your family. Your family will always have your best interests in mind, no matter what, and if he’s threatened by that, it should be a huge red flag. Any guy who cares about you will not only want you to spend time with your loved ones, but he’ll want to spend time with them too. If he tries to isolate you from other people, he’s trying to make you more reliant on him, and that’s not a road you want to go down.
- Your sex life. Trying new things in bed should only come after a little bit of communication, and a lot of mutual respect. He doesn’t get to pull the old “oh, I slipped” if he wants to try butt sex, and he definitely doesn’t get to make you feel guilty if there are certain things you don’t want to do.
- What you do in your down time. Even in a serious relationship, we all need time for ourselves. There’s no reason why you have to spend every free minute with your boyfriend, and if that’s what he’s expecting maybe it’s time to tell him you need a little space.
- Your exercise routine. Unless you’ve asked him to help you get into shape, then he shouldn’t be signing you up for yoga classes you don’t care to go to, and forcing you to go on a run every night when you absolutely hate running. You’re the only one who knows what exercise you enjoy and what works for your body, so tell him to back off.
- The direction of your relationship. Neither one of you gets to decide all on your own where you relationship is going. It takes two to make a happy couple, and forcing someone into something they aren’t ready for is never going to turn out well. If he doesn’t want anything serious, but you do, you have the right to end it, and vice versa.
