Common relationship wisdom encourages you to be open and vulnerable when it comes to love, to let people in. I’m all for that, but there are instances when it’s better to go in the opposite direction. In fact, sometimes, it could save you from getting screwed over and ended up with another broken heart.
- When a situation causes you more harm than good. No need to be a doormat or a bleeding heart. You can love a guy all you want, but if he’s is hurting you, stop allowing it. You’re much better off saving all that beautiful love for someone who returns it.
- When you’re taken advantage of. You’re strong — don’t crumble in the face of your feelings. You know when you’re being done dirty. Don’t take that. Step away, and quickly.
- When you’re getting in too deep, too soon. There’s a reason it feels too good to be true — it is. Take things slow and be realistic. You’ll know if it’s right because there won’t be any need to rush. You can have a real-life fairytale, but it won’t be the kind you read in books.
- When a friend proves toxic. You’re loving, you’re giving, you’re a great friend. That doesn’t mean that everyone’s going to be a great friend back. You can’t make other people treat you the same way you treat them. You can only gently, but firmly, let them know it’s not working out for you.
- When you’re physically abused by someone you love. This should be a given, but sadly, life is complicated. Our minds and hearts are complicated. We can’t always walk away, even when we know we should. You owe it to yourself to get out before you literally no longer can. Don’t risk your life over something that isn’t what you thought it was.
- When you’re mentally or emotionally abused by someone you love. The marks are hidden, but they still exist. Mental and emotional abuse take just as much of a toll as physical, and often are harder to prove. Reach out to those around you that you can trust and ask for their help. You can’t keep giving yourself over to someone who treats you like crap.
- When you get too co-dependent. Relationships are complicated, and this problem happens to the best of us. It’s not limited to romantic partnerships, either. I myself have had friendships that ventured into the danger zone. When it gets too weird, take a step back and re-establish yourself as an independent human being. It’s the healthiest step you can take for your heart.
- When there’s no trust. Lock that heart up fast! No trust equals no real relationship, plain and simple. If you can’t trust someone in general, why would you trust them with your love? It’s a recipe for disaster and painful heartbreak down the line.
- When someone you love stops wanting to protect your heart. If your partner — or anyone — stops considering your feelings, you need to back away. You can only have an open, loving heart towards someone who appreciates and respects it. If someone else gives you their heart, do you toss it aside and step all over it? I hope not. Take your love away if it isn’t valued.
- When you have a bad feeling in your gut. Trust your instincts above all else, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. I don’t mean your mind. I don’t mean your feelings. I mean trust your GUT. You know the difference. I can’t tell you the number of times something felt fishy, I chose to brush it aside, and later on I turned out to be absolutely right. Confront it head on and embrace reality. Your heart will thank you for sparing it someday.
