10 Times Love Just Isn’t Enough To Make A Relationship Work

You might love someone with your whole heart, but that doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be with them for the rest of your life. There are times when what you need to make a relationship work is more important than the love you have for a person. Here are 10 of those times.

When your future plans don’t align

If they want to move to New York in a few years and you’d rather die than spend hours on the subway, the relationship probably won’t last long-term. Sure, you could compromise and maybe he would too, but that doesn’t mean either of you actually should. Sometimes the things you want in life just aren’t the same and that’s not a bad thing. It just means that love might not be enough to make the relationship last.

When your in-laws don’t like you

Who really wants to be with someone whose parents don’t approve of your relationship? Parents can be difficult and I know it’s naive to think they’re going to like every single person you date, but they shouldn’t actively disapprove. If your parents don’t think the person you’re dating is worthy of you, there’s probably a reason— they’re not.

When the trust is gone

Cheating might not be the end of the world for every couple. Sometimes, depending on the individual and the situation, trust can be rebuilt (but that’s incredibly rare). Once trust is gone, it’s typically gone for good even if there’s still a lot of love there. Love can’t change a guy or girl who can’t seem to keep it in their pants (or say “no” to what’s in someone else’s pants).

When long-distance has no expiration date

Long-distance relationships are hard, there’s no denying that. But they’re even harder when there doesn’t seem to be an end date for that distance. Dating someone who lives far away and has zero plans of relocating takes a toll, especially if you don’t see yourself moving either. All the love in the world can’t change a living situation.

When you’re not physically attracted to them anymore

Have you ever loved a person so much you didn’t realize something was lacking in the physical department? Sounds like this person was more of a best friend than a partner, which can happen in relationships! It’s easy to love a person so much that you forget you should also lust for that person as well. If there’s no physical component (and you want one), that could mean you’re not with the person you’re meant to be with.

When too much has happened in the past

I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never gone back to an ex-boyfriend. I’ve gone back to the same ex-boyfriend at least 10 or 15 times throughout my early adult life and that’s because I loved him and I thought love was enough. But because of everything we experienced in our relationship—the betrayal, the drama, the history—it never worked. Once things happen, they can’t be undone or forgotten no matter how much love is between you.

When you have the urge to explore

Whether it’s because we’re feeling stagnant in our own lives or we’re just curious to see what else is out there, seeing what’s out there isn’t always the easiest when you’re in a relationship. This is why so many unions fall apart. I’m not saying it’s impossible to be in a relationship when you’re feeling the urge to explore your options but it’s not always easy and not always smart. After all, how can you explore when you’re not really free?

When communication is basically non-existent

I’m sorry but I refuse to believe people can be “coached” into communicating effectively. I’m not saying it’s impossible and sure, maybe through counseling, it can improve. However, sometimes two people just can’t communicate about things that actually matter—work, goals, family, conflict, etc. I mean, we’ve all experienced that struggle before. No matter how hard you try or how much you want it, there’s nothing that can be done.

When your fights are bordering on aggressive

You could say the most successful couples are the ones who bicker every now and again. If you’re not fighting, you’re not trying. But that doesn’t mean fighting should be a normal occurrence, especially if those fights get a little too heated. Slamming doors, cursing at each other, and becoming so upset you forget why you love that person are key signs of a destructive partnership.

When you know the relationship should end

You’re in love but something is telling you this isn’t the relationship for you. Maybe you can’t pinpoint the reason why you want to run. After all, you’re in love and love should be enough. That’s not always the case. Love is a feeling that can’t always silence the facts of the matter. I know this might make the romantics roll their eyes, but sometimes you have to listen to your brain as well as your heart.

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