Hearing those three little words is one of the greatest feelings in the world… except when it isn’t. Sometimes “I love you” can be less than pleasant and instead full of lies, manipulation, and toxicity. Here are 10 times you’d be better off without it:
- The Sleazy “I Love You” We all know this one! Easily recognizable by its husky, breathless tone and ultra convenient timing, this one almost always takes place during a hot and heavy makeout session that may or (most likely) may not lead to more. If a guy is stupid enough to throw one of these at you, it’s a dead giveaway that he’s a creep. Run!
- The Premature “I Love You” Not to be mistaken for the sleazy version but every bit as dangerous, this one happens way too early in the relationship. When you hear one of these, warning bells may start going off somewhere in the back of your mind. Listen to them. This type of “I love you” usually means one of two things and neither is good. First, it could be an early sign of a controlling and potentially abusive man (a classic technique of reeling the victim in). If that’s not the case, he’s probably super desperate or emotionally unstable. Again—run!
- The Expectant “I Love You” While this one isn’t as dangerous as the first two, it’s painfully awkward. These usually happen after a few months of comfortable dating. You like him, he likes you, and things are great… until he complicates everything by dropping the big “I love you” before you’re ready. The silence that follows is deafening and if you really don’t love him, you can pretty much bet that this is the beginning of the end. Oh well—it was great while it lasted…
- The Polite “I Love You” Thought the first three were bad? This one sucks even worse (for you, anyway). “The Polite I Love You” is basically the reverse of the expectant version. You like him, he likes you and things are great. So great that you think you might love him and bolster up the courage to tell him so. After several seconds (hours, lifetimes?!) of silence, he timidly speaks the words back to you and looks down at his hands. Oh well, it was great while it lasted…
- The Tit-For-Tat “I Love You” In the entire history of romance, there has never been a bigger crock of crap than this one. If your guy dares to say “I love you and if you love me, you’d (insert idiotic request here),” leave his sorry butt behind. He definitely doesn’t love you and he just isn’t worth it.
- The Needy “I Love You” This guy needs to be loved all.the.time and you’d better be ready to show him, too. This one is frequently issued when you’re busy (you know, with living and stuff) and your guy just wants you all to himself. Nothing too sinister about that unless he pulls this move a lot. It’s emotionally draining and, after a while, irritating AF.
- The “I Love You, But…” Seriously, why bother? Following “I love you” with “but…” kinda defeats the whole point. Typical examples are, “I love you but I just need some time alone” or “I love you but we’re not good for each other.” Grow some balls and just say goodbye already—you can’t sugar coat a breakup!
- The Guilty “I Love You” He’s done something wrong. He knows it and you probably suspect it. Whether it’s minor or serious, you can usually tell by the knit of his brow or the question in his voice that it’s one of these. Emotional games? No thanks.
- The Too Little, Too Late “I Love You” These usually happen when you’ve already stuck around too long. You gave him your all and waited for him to do the same. It could’ve really been something great, but he approached the relationship on his terms and lost you. By the time this “I love you” rolls in, you’ve already made up your mind and cut your losses. Once he realizes this, he’ll be eager to please, but be warned—if he took you for granted before, he’ll probably do it again.
- The “I’ll Always Love You…” Yup, when you hear this one, you know it’s over. Pray you never have to deal with a guy who has the bad taste to leave you mulling over this one after a breakup. Especially if you loved him. This is slow torture and will leave you wondering if there’s still a chance. It also gives him an oh-so-convenient opportunity to get back in there should his single options turn out to be less than he’d hoped. Forget you ever heard this and move TF on!
