10 Types Of Couples Everyone Hates (So Try Not To Be One Of Them)

10 Types Of Couples Everyone Hates (So Try Not To Be One Of Them) ©iStock/max-kegfire

Relationships are central to our lives, and we all have our opinions on how the “perfect couple” looks and behaves. Even though you know it’s really none of your concern, there are still certain types of couples that make you cringe when you see them. While you should probably ignore other people’s relationships and focus on your own life, you can’t help it — some of these are too annoying to ignore.

  1. The public scene couple. These two will engage in a screaming match in the middle of a Whole Foods if the mood strikes them. They’re the ones that make everyone else at a party feel awkward because they decided to break up in the kitchen and then act as if no one could hear them airing their dirty laundry before the main course is even served. They never apologize, either, because they have no idea they’re doing anything out of the ordinary.
  2. The fast track couple. They met two months ago during some art gallery opening (which means they met online) and they’re already moving in together and talking about getting a kitten. You better not suggest that they might be moving a little fast, either, because you’ll just have to listen to them wax poetic about how “when you know, you know.”
  3. The extreme PDA couple. They’re so turned on by each other that they’d rip each other’s pants off and go at it right there if there weren’t kids around. In fact, they probably share some exhibitionist tendencies and it won’t be long before they start hitting up private sex clubs where their performance skills will be more appreciated.
  4. The obliviously wrong for each other couple. When two people clearly aren’t on the same page about their relationship and everyone can see it but them, it’s tragic. Sure, sometimes “opposites attract,” but this is just going too far. It’s probably going to implode any second now, but until then, you have to be nice.
  5. The couple who can’t stop bragging. They’re just so lucky they found each other. So lucky that they’re afraid if they don’t gush about their love constantly, they’ll seem ungrateful to the mysterious Cupid-like force that deemed them worthy of #truelove.
  6. The attached at the hip couple. They’re both probably the type that just hated being single, so now that they’ve managed to find someone willing to put up with them, they’re going to hold on for dear life… which means never leaving each other’s sight. Ever.
  7. The hate each other, but won’t break up couple. They might think they’re hiding their disdain for each other really well, but they aren’t. Their pure hatred for one another is apparent in the thinly veiled insults, cruel jokes at each other’s expense, and the things they say behind one another’s backs. But for some reason, they refuse to break up. Somehow this is better than being single, and you’ll never convince them otherwise. They’ll be miserably together until the end of time.
  8. The couple who loves double dates. This is particularly difficult for the token single friends. You think you’re just going to grab dinner with your friends who happen to be in a relationship with each other, but no. They’ve picked out some random dude you’re just going to love, and you’re forced to make awkward small talk with him while they watch you from across the table, so pleased with themselves for being such good matchmakers.
  9. The shared brain couple. You know at some point they must have had their own opinions on things, right? These days they seem to share one master brain, because they never disagree on anything. They’ve decided the key to a happy relationship is never arguing about anything ever. They’ve taken compromise to a whole new level— just complete and utter denial that they might have different needs or opinions every once in awhile.
  10. The want everyone to be as blissfully in love as they are couple. Why shouldn’t everyone want what they have? It’s absolutely perfect, after all. There’s no end to the pep talks and unsolicited reassurance that you’ll find someone “when the time is right”. If they can do it, anyone can.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.