There are certain guys that will be scared off when you make a commitment to not being a pushover. If you stand up for yourself, speak your mind, and refuse to be taken advantage of, some people just won’t be able to handle it and they’ll make a swift exit from your life. Let them! Refusing to be a pushover is a good thing and you’re better off without these types of guys anyway.
- The anti-social guy He thinks it’s cool to stay home and avoid social activities, like he’s subverting the mainstream or something by refusing to get out and experience the world. He’ll try to convince you to stay at home with him and watch movies and eat takeout. When you tell him you want to go out anyway, he’ll likely sulk. When you go out with your friends or to events and clubs without him, he’ll eventually stop making plans with you. His loss!
- The social king He’s the opposite of the anti-social guy. He loves going out but he wants to call the shots. He wants to decide where you go, who you go out with, and what you’re doing. When you speak up and tell him that you’re not interested in going to another bar where “the women are wild and the beer’s ice cold” and would rather do something else, he’ll ditch you. He doesn’t like women that can think for themselves.
- The control freak This man has a very specific idea of the woman he wants by his side and what she should be like. He may “see the potential” in you, but he’ll do everything he can to make you over into his perfect woman. He’ll sign you up for classes, buy you clothes and perfume and maybe even jewels. It’s not because he loves you, though. When you tell him you don’t like wearing certain scents or that you prefer jeans to dresses, he’ll find someone else he can control.
- The bully He tries to get people to follow his rules by being negative. Sometimes he’s harsh behind their backs but more often than not, he’ll neg them by giving them a compliment that’s really an insult. “Your hair looks so shiny. You should really consider a shampoo for greasy hair.” He bullies people because it makes him feel better about himself and when you stand up for yourself, it doesn’t make him feel good anymore.
- The taker He’s ready to take whatever you’ll let him have. Whether it’s your money, your couch (or your bed), your car, or your lawnmower – if you’re offering it, he’ll take it. And there’s a good chance you won’t get it back or he won’t return the favor. If you come right out and ask for it, he’ll act like you’re being a big meanie.
- The needy guy He’s not looking for a girlfriend, he’s looking for a substitute mommy. He’s constantly in distress. He always needs a shoulder to lean on. His favorite place to be is laying on your couch with his head in your lap while you reassure him that he’s a wonderful person. When you need someone strong, he’s nowhere to be found. If you insist on turning to him in your time of need, he’ll find someone else to comfort him.
- The pseudo-boyfriend He likes to have someone to take to weddings and special events and he loves the sex even more. He’s never going to let you call him your boyfriend, though. He’ll put off that discussion as long as possible. And if you insist on having that discussion, it will probably be the last time you see him.
- The disappearing act He loves attention and if you don’t give it to him, he’ll go all out to get it from someone else. He needs to be the one that everyone can’t take their eyes off, but once he has your attention, he’ll do a disappearing act until he feels like he wants you to notice him again. Just call him out on it and he’ll quit craving your attention.
- The jealous guy He hates it when you flirt with other men. Hell, he hates it when you talk to other men. He doesn’t even like to think that you know other men exist. When you acknowledge that there are other men in the room, he’ll act like he’s hurt and make you feel you’re the bad guy. If you insist, you should be able to talk to members of the male species or even have male friends, he’ll break up with you. It will be your fault, of course.
- The ghoster He drops in and out of your life at his convenience. He’ll make plans and not show up, or if you have plans together, he might change them at the last minute. This guy will disappear for days or even weeks on end and then just pop back into your life and expect you to be ready to see him again. If you tell him your time is important and expect him to show up when he says he will, he’ll soon stop showing up at all.
These are the kinds of guys that don’t add any value to your life. You’re better off without them, so start speaking up for yourself and don’t be afraid of losing them. It just gives you more time for the right guy!
