10 Ultimatums You Should Never Give A Guy

Ultimatums aren’t going to get you far in a relationship. If your man really cares about your happiness, he’ll do as you wish without putting up a fight. If you have to resort to bribes or threats, you might get your way, but you’ll also cause him to resent you in the long run. That means it’s time to put an end to threatening to break up with him and withholding sex. It’s just not worth it.

  1. You or his family. You’re never going to be the only woman in his life. As annoying as she is, his mother isn’t going anywhere. Neither are his siblings or his cousins. When you marry a man, you marry his family, too. So if you’re planning on spending forever with him, you should get used to his family members. They’re always going to be around.
  2. You or his pets. It’s one thing if you’re allergic to his pet cat. It’s a completely different thing if you just don’t like the way that it meows at you. Most people view their pets as their children, so asking him to give up his animal for you is like asking him to give up a piece of himself.
  3. You or his drinking buddies. He’s allowed to have a social life that doesn’t involve you. Unless his friends are drug dependent that are leading him down a dark road, don’t try to tear him apart from his friends. He deserves to drink a beer and play video games, just like any other man does.
  4. You or his career. You wouldn’t give up your dream job for your boyfriend, so why should he give it up for you? He worked hard to get where he is, so there’s no reason for you to ask him to quit, especially if he loves what he does.
  5. You or his female friends. Go ahead and ask him to delete his ex’s number. But if he has a few harmless female friends, let him text them without accusing him of cheating. If you have male friends, then it’s only fair.
  6. You or his video games. Maybe you don’t understand the appeal of virtually shooting down enemies and yelling at strangers over a headset. That’s okay, because he probably doesn’t understand your love of shoe shopping. Don’t criticize him for his hobbies. We all relax in different ways.
  7. You or his junk food. You should love your man for his personality. Besides, if he gained a few pounds over the years, you can’t force him to exercise. He needs to make the decision on his own, in order to better his health, not to impress you.
  8. You or his childless life. If he doesn’t want to have children, then you need to figure out if you’re okay with never becoming a mother. If you’re not, then you have no choice but to leave him. If you convince him to have a child, even though he doesn’t want one, raising it won’t go well. He’ll either become a deadbeat or just plain resentful.
  9. You or his single status. You can’t tell a man that he needs to propose to you by a certain date or you’ll leave him. Everyone moves at a different pace. If you really love him, and he’s not ready to make a commitment yet, then you should be patient. If you’re meant to be, he’ll change his mind eventually.
  10. You or his beliefs. You can’t force your boyfriend to convert religions. You need to learn to respect the way that he was brought up, even though it’s different than the way you were raised. After all, open-mindedness is the key to a successful relationship.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.