10 Ways I Accidentally Pushed My Boyfriend Away Without Even Realizing It

At first, I thought our love just faded away, but looking back on my failed relationship, I realize just how much I was responsible for screwing everything up. Over time, I managed to push my boyfriend out of my life with my behavior and I have no one to blame but myself. Learn from my mistakes so you don’t have to experience the same heartbreak.

  1. My Insecurities Got the Best of Me. I slowly began to unravel when the honeymoon phase wore off. I thought this meant our relationship was doomed and he was losing interest even though that was far from the case. Instead of just riding through the natural ebbs and flows of our relationship, I unleashed my insecurities by being needy, clingy, and an annoying pain in the ass.
  2. I Feared Uncertainty. I wanted our relationship to go according to the books, reaching traditional milestones in what I believed to be an appropriate amount of time. In my desire to be rigid and follow a plan, it only pushed him further and further away. I now realize how much the fear of uncertainty really creeped me out. I always needed to know where our relationship was headed and how he really felt about me instead of just taking things one day at a time.
  3. I was jealous of anything that moved. Yes, I admit that I can be a jealous bitch when it comes to the one I love, and this irrational jealousy only made things worse for us. When he wanted to hang out with his female friends, I would throw a fit. I wanted him to spend his time with me and only me. My jealousy eventually sparked resentment in him, and that only helped to destroy us even more.
  4. I played too many times. Relationship and dating books can be helpful, but I was way too obsessed with “playing the dating game” when we first met. Instead of being my natural self and letting my heart guide me, I adhered to dumb relationship tricks that drove a wedge between us. It was hard for me to keep up the facade of being a badass dating pro and eventually, the cracks began to show. It all just felt inauthentic, and when I started to play by my own rules, he felt like I’d pulled a bait and switch on him.
  5. I was Too Quick to Apologize. I hate arguments and confrontations so I’ll try to avoid them as much as possible. When we did get into a fight, I would always be quick to apologize even if it wasn’t my fault. I thought that apologizing for whatever part I played would smooth things over for us but instead I came across as an insecure doormat. No wonder his attraction to me faded.
  6. I stopped Following His Lead. When I followed his lead, our relationship went well and things weren’t so much of a struggle. I allowed him to plan dates and woo me nonstop. Once my insecurities pushed me to jump into the driver’s seat and I tried to force things, our relationship was doomed.
  7. I wanted to be with him 24/7. I loved everything about him, so it was only natural for me to want to spend time with him. However, everyone needs their own personal time alone. It’s healthy to have a separate life away from your partner, but this wasn’t something I understood. When he would decline to hang out on weekends, I took it as an insult instead of respecting his need for space.
  8. He Didn’t Have to Work for It. It’s not about playing games, it’s about letting someone into your life slowly as they earn the right to be a permanent fixture in your world. I didn’t do this. I poured out my heart to him early on, told him I loved him before he felt the same way, and would always try to accommodate his needs and his schedule instead of putting myself first. Everything eventually became so easy for him. It makes sense he got bored and pulled away.
  9. I made Unfair Comparisons. Unfair comparisons between my boyfriend and other men from my past turned our awesome relationship into a hot mess. I couldn’t just accept him for the person he was. I always had this need to mentally judge everything he was doing (or not doing). If my BFF’s boyfriend did something really sweet for her, I always wondered why my boyfriend couldn’t do the same. Not only was this unhealthy but it destroyed everything that was left of our relationship.
  10. I Gave Too Much. It’s been proven that it’s better to receive than to give when it comes to dating. The one who gives the most is more positive and happier in the relationship, but I didn’t allow him to have these feelings because I would always overcompensate by giving and doing favors for him. Instead of bringing us closer together, it did the exact opposite.
An avid internet surfer with a passion for writing.