10 Ways Bad Relationships Mess With Your Head

10 Ways Bad Relationships Mess With Your Head ©iStock/ChristopherBernard

Bad relationships can take a long time to recover from. You were strong enough to survive it, to end it, and to gather the courage to move forward, but it took a toll on you mentally and emotionally. Long after you’re done with your ex, the ways your bad relationship messed with your head can linger.

  1. You’re afraid to be optimistic about love. You used to be a believer in love, but your faith has been shaken a little bit. You want to believe, but you’re scared of being let down again.
  2. You feel like your current relationship could end at any moment. You tend to worry that every disagreement or rough patch will end the relationship you’re in now. After your last relationship shattered to pieces, it’s hard to believe that any relationship could be rock solid enough to withstand anything.
  3. You’ve lost some sense of self-worth. You’re unsure of yourself and what you deserve from a partner. You know logically that you deserve the best, but the lying and emotional abuse got to you a little bit. He told you that you didn’t deserve better so many times that, unfortunately, part of you started to believe it.
  4. You’re scared to go all in. You’d prefer to stay a little bit distant and have a deep seeded fear of putting all your eggs in one basket again. You try to avoid taking a big leap with someone if at all possible, because your heart just isn’t ready to take another risk.
  5. You sometimes miss the one who shattered your heart. You know he’s bad for you and you would never get back together with him, but you do occasionally miss the loser that messed with your heart and your head. You get angry with yourself for feeling this way, because you know how much pain he’s caused you.
  6. You forget that good guys do exist. Your bad relationship has tainted your view of men and relationships in general. With every jerk that comes your way, it gets harder and harder to believe that good guys are out there and are also looking for love.
  7. You’re cautious to the point of shutting everyone out. You don’t want to screwed over again, and that’s understandable. You’ve built up walls and thickened your skin to survive in this world, and you protect yourself to the point of shutting everyone out. You’re not sure if finding love is worth the risks that go along with letting your guard down.
  8. You go after the same, wrong guy again. There are many reasons why a woman would make a habit of dating guys that are wrong for her, and it’s an easy mistake to make when if you’re traumatized from a bad relationship. It takes a long time for your heart and your mind to process what you’ve been through, so don’t beat yourself up if you’re guilty of this. Take a break from dating until you’re ready to find someone who truly deserves you.
  9. You sabotage your relationships to avoid getting hurt again. You never want to be the victim again, so you hurt and abandon others to beat them to the punch. You’d prefer to be the bad guy than the one who gets hurt, and sometimes you aren’t even aware you are sabotaging yourself until it’s done. You don’t feel great about being a jerk, but you like having the power for a change.
  10. You believe you’re fundamentally unlovable. Part of you got mixed up and believes that the bad relationship was in some ways your fault. You think there is something wrong with you and that you are somehow less lovable than others. This is so untrue, and in time you’ll see that these thoughts are just a side effect of being in a crummy relationship. Healing takes time and effort, but you will get there because you’re strong and you deserve love and happiness.
Holly Harris is a freelance writer, full time student, and mommy to a toddler sass monster. In her (nearly nonexistent) free time, you can find her lifting something heavy in her home gym or chugging vodka sodas with friends. She contributes to several other sites, including Elite Daily.