10 Ways You Should Feel In Your Relationship—If You Don’t, He’s Not The One

When you’ve just started dating a great guy, it’s easy to feel like he’s The One. Your hormones are going pretty crazy and everything seems all right with the world. But just because he’s a good kisser doesn’t mean that he’s boyfriend material… and it definitely doesn’t mean that he should be yours forever. Do you feel these 10 things with your boyfriend? If you do, it’s a good sign that he really is the one for you:

  1. Comfortable in your skin You want to be with a guy who not only makes you happy but makes you feel like you’re truly yourself. He loves everything about you, including the weird stuff (like the fact that you eat your food sequentially or that you always forget to clean your bathroom). And you’re so comfortable around him that you know that you could hang out with him day and night and feel just as good. Yup, that also means that you’re totally cool with him seeing you with a nasty, epic cold.
  2. Safe If you don’t feel safe around him, there’s no point to date him. It doesn’t matter how amazing you think that he is. You should feel so safe in his arms it’s like you’re the only two people in the whole world, and you should feel safe enough to tell him what you want (and don’t want) to do in bed too. It’s kind of a non-negotiable.
  3. Free to talk about absolutely anything Sure, you might not want to discuss the latest episode of The Bachelor with your boyfriend (save that for your BFF), but you should definitely feel like he’s all ears for most topics. If you can’t have an honest conversation with him, how can he really be The One? Just think about all the chats that you’re going to have if you stay together forever. Yeah, that’s a lot. If he’s a boring conversationalist or if he shuts you down whenever you try to talk about something, no matter how silly or important, that’s not a good sign.
  4. Excited to see him all the time. So what if you’ve been dating for six months? You should always feel excited in the moments leading up to seeing your boyfriend again. Yes, even if you kissed him goodbye this morning, went to work, and the two of you are meeting up for dinner. The right guy will give you butterflies 24/7 and excite you all the time.
  5. Inspired to live your best life. A good sign that your BF is your person is if he inspires and motivates you on a daily basis. You should feel like you’re absolutely conquering your life. You should want to work out more, eat better, try harder at work, and follow your dreams. He should feel the same, of course. When you feel worse about yourself and your life than you did before you met him, that’s when you know it’s not a good scene.
  6. Like there are things to look forward to. Sure, once you’ve DTR-ed and met each other’s families, there might not feel like there are a ton of milestones to cross. But you should always feel like you and your boyfriend have a lot of things to look forward to, whether that’s moving in together or getting married or even just traveling and discovering new hobbies. Without that sense of excitement about the future, what’s the point? You definitely don’t want to feel like things have become boring and stale.
  7. Sexually satisfied. Sex can make or break a relationship. One partner wants it more often than the other one, one person is super selfish in bed, a couple goes weeks without getting intimate — these are all issues that arise sometimes. You want to feel sexually satisfied with your relationship. He should never care more about his own pleasure than yours.
  8. Respected. Is he a good guy who hates sexism as much as you do and is a total feminist? Does he tell you that he respects you on a regular basis and do you feel like he’s always looking out for your best interests? If this isn’t the way that you feel, there’s just no way that he could be the only one for you. It’s a real requirement of a healthy relationship.
  9. Lucky. Don’t you want to feel so lucky to be with this guy, you can’t even believe it? You should think that he’s the best person that anyone could ever be with… and that it’s awesome because he’s all yours. If you don’t feel this way, then you honestly don’t actually love him (or even like him).
  10. Blissfully happy. You want to be so happy with your boyfriend it’s like you’re on a sugar or caffeine high all the time. This is a deeper kind of joy than the way that you feel when it’s payday or when you see that Netflix finally put up the second season of your fave show. It’s a happiness that you feel deep down in your soul. It’s like your entire body and soul are so happy to be with him, you can’t even handle it. And, yeah, that also means that you have a stupid grin on your face most of the time. People will just have to deal, right?!
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.