It’s just in my personality to be someone who wants it all in life, from relationships to pizza. I’m always been hungry for more, more, more, and usually whatever I currently have is never good enough for me. It might sound like a great problem to have (and at times, it is), but there’s definitely a downside to being this way, too.
I’m automatically a morning person.
Because I know that I want to accomplish a lot in my day, I usually get started somewhere around 8 a.m. The idea of me sleeping in longer than that drives me insane. I have to really tell myself, “Okay, Kristen, go lay down and just do nothing for a while” if there’s any hope of me staying in bed. Especially when I’m with my boyfriend, I try to sleep in a bit more and spend time with him, but sometimes I’m just up and ready to get my day started — and nothing’s going to stop me.
I’m always, always, always tired.
I’ve tried harder and harder over the months to do more fun things and stray away from my usual routine of coming home from work and laying on the couch watching “Criminal Minds” with my dogs, but sometimes it’s hard. As someone who’s constantly hungry for more, I’m basically always doing something, which in turn means I’m always damn tired — sometimes too tired to do fun things with friends or my S.O.
I don’t get many late nights out.
I always hear about my girlfriends going out on Thursday nights, partying, meeting guys at the bar, and going out on dates. To me, the thought of being anywhere but home, showered, with a face mask on anytime after 9 p.m. on a weeknight makes me tired just thinking about it.
I have to go through so many options before I find what’s right.
Being that I’m always searching for something as good as what I know I deserve, I’m constantly dealing with the issue of going through so. many. options. before I find the right choice. Maybe it’s me scrolling through 20 pages of shoes until I find the exact pair I’m picturing in my mind, or maybe it’s weeding out all the toxic guys to find just the right one. Either way, I never settle for anything but the best, but finding the best is always an exhausting challenge.
I’d be lost in life without my planner.
Some people think it’s weird how attached to my planner I am. I’m the type of person who needs to write everything down. If it’s not written down, it’s definitely going to get lost in my brain’s inbox, and chances are I’ll never remember it again. Dates, anniversaries, holidays —my planner tells me them all (as long as I remember to write it down).
I need to know all the details. And now.
When I was single, I wanted to know exactly what was happening, where, and at what time when someone asked me on a date. That always made it pretty hard for a guy to have any cool surprises or do something spontaneous because essentially, my entire month is usually planned out at least a few weeks in advance.
I’m the Queen of being a control freak.
As someone who needs to be in control of most things in order to get the things accomplished that she needs to, being a control freak only makes sense. I try my hardest to let things happen the way they’re meant to, but sometimes I just need to control how they’re going to play out. I like things the way I like them, and sometimes that’s hard to deal with for anyone who is in a relationship with me.
Relaxing for more than an hour or two is just not an option.
The first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning is what I have to do for the day. That list never stops running through my mind until it’s completed. With that said, when my brain starts to turn to mush throughout the day, I’m often left mentally and physically exhausted. I try my hardest to take breaks in between things I have to do for the day, but usually I find myself checking emails or answering business calls while I’m trying to “relax” and watch some “Gossip Girl.”
I’m always taking on more than I can handle.
I always kick myself in the ass for this, but it’s really what keeps me going: taking on too much. It’s not that I can’t handle what I take on — I always end up getting it all done. But at the end of getting everything done, I’m exhausted and burnt out, leaving no energy for doing things with my boyfriend or, you know, not watching reruns of “New Girl.”
Overall, I’m just trying to be happy.
No matter what I choose to take on, I really just want to be happy with the outcome. I’m very much trying my best to please myself and the people around me. I want to make people proud. Sure, I’m restless, sometimes burnt out, and overwhelming at times, but when you want it all in life, sometimes that’s the consequence.
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