10 Ways Your Low Self-Esteem Is Destroying Your Love Life

You need to wake up and realize how beautiful you are. Otherwise, you’re never going to be happy. Don’t think that finding a man will solve all of your problems. It’ll be much easier to find someone after you find your confidence, because low self-esteem can really mess up your love life.

  1. You’ve become too comfortable being single. You can’t imagine anyone getting butterflies when they see you or daydreaming about kissing you, so you’ve stopped thinking about those things, too. You’re so used to being “forever alone” that you’ve stopped trying to look for love. Even if it’s right in front of you, you won’t realize it.
  2. You won’t go after the men you really want. You’re making the mistake of thinking that everyone sees you the same way that you see yourself. That’s why you won’t won’t put yourself out there. You assume that you’re going to be rejected, so you don’t bother trying, even when you meet a man you could really imagine a future with.
  3. You always think you’re doing something wrong. You’ve gotten hurt in the past, and it’s made you question yourself. Whenever a man takes too long to respond to a text message or gives you a short reply, you force yourself to forget about him. You must’ve done something wrong, and it’s easier to forget about him then to figure out why he’s acting distant.
  4. You never make the first move. Even if you two had an amazing date, you won’t be the one to send out the first text the next day. You’re never the one to make the first move. If he’s not initiating the conversation, you’ll assume that he doesn’t want to talk to you, anyway.
  5. You assume he isn’t interested. Even if he flirts with you, goes out of his way to see you, and asks for your number, you’ll still think that he wants nothing to do with you. You don’t think you’re capable of being loved, and you see what you want to see, which means you’ll never know the truth.
  6. You date men who treat you like crap. A relationship is a relationship. You don’t think you could do any better, anyway, so you stay in unhealthy relationships for much longer than you should. You think you deserve the harsh treatment.
  7. You take forever to get ready. Everyone knows that you look beautiful without any makeup on, but you don’t realize that. That’s why you’ll spend hours in front of the mirror, trying to look presentable for a date, and still won’t be happy with the outcome. Even when your date compliments you, you won’t believe him.
  8. You never have any fun in the bedroom. You don’t enjoy sex the way you should, because you don’t have a chance to soak everything in. You’re too focused on what your stomach looks like and how stubbly your legs are. You don’t give yourself the chance to enjoy the moment.
  9. You push people away with your attitude. You’re never in a great mood, because you always have something to complain about. But no one wants to be around a downer. That’s why you need to start thinking more optimistically, so everyone realizes how much fun you can be.
  10. You’re not yourself. You don’t like yourself, so why would anyone else? You try your hardest to be someone you’re not, because you can’t imagine a man actually liking you for you. That’s where you always go wrong.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.