10 Ways You Put Your Phone Above Your Relationship

Even though we rely on our phones to connect with people, it can be downright insulting being with someone who’s constantly staring at a screen while you’re trying to have a conversation with them. Not surprisingly, it can also damage your relationship if you’re not giving your partner enough attention. Are you guilty of phubbing? Here’s how to tell so you can put a stop to it.

  1. You use your phone when you’re on a date. There’s nothing more soul-crushing than someone scrolling through their phone when they’re supposed to be enjoying your company. If you find yourself more engrossed in a screen than your partner then something is definitely wrong. You’re literally putting a device above your relationship and you’ll end up regretting it. Leaving your phone at home or turning it off when you’re on a date will bring you and your partner closer together and ensure you both feel valued and listened to.
  2. You zone in and out when your partner is talking. Sure, you probably won’t remember every little thing your partner says to you, but you should still try to pay attention. They could be telling you something really important but you don’t hear them because you’re too busy looking at what your best friend had for lunch. Your relationship has to be one of your priorities and if it’s not then something needs to change.
  3. You can’t remember the last time you had an in-depth conversation. You’re so distracted by your phone that you rarely sit down and talk to your partner about their day anymore. It’s like you’ve forgotten how to communicate face-to-face and that’s worrying.
  4. You misinterpret messages and then blame it on them. It’s so easy to get offended by a text message. A simple “hey” with a full stop might sound rude even if they didn’t mean for it to come across that way. You’ll sit for ages trying to figure out the meaning of a message even though sometimes there isn’t one—you’re just overthinking it. Overthinking small things like a text message and lashing out at your partner is unnecessary and it’s really not worth the argument.
  5. Your phone impacts your mood. What you see on social media can bring you down, especially when you start comparing yourself to others. In fact, a study showed that those who spend more time on social media are more likely to report mental health issues. A tweet or a message is all it takes to ruin your day, which can also have an impact on your relationship. Try to limit how often you look at social media or stop using it completely if you feel like it’s having a negative effect on your well-being.
  6. You use your phone to annoy your partner. Perhaps the only reason you spend too much time on your phone is that your partner does the same. You feel neglected but instead of telling them to put their phone away and give you the attention you deserve, you start scrolling through your phone as well to show that you’re not bothered at all. If you can’t beat them, join them, right? Honestly, you both need to cut down your phone usage before it ruins your relationship.
  7. You hide your phone whenever your partner walks in the room. Even if you have nothing to hide, it looks really suspicious if you don’t want them to see your phone. They don’t need to know your password if you’re not comfortable with that but there has to be some level of trust there.
  8. Your phone is in your hand 24/7. It doesn’t matter where you are, what you’re doing or who you’re with—you always make sure your phone is nearby just in case you need it to make a quick Google search. It might not seem like a big deal as everyone around you appears to be obsessed with their phone as well, but it’s not helping your relationship either. If your partner doesn’t use their phone as much as you do then it probably annoys the hell out of them to see you using it all the time. Just give it a break.
  9. You check your phone while you’re in bed with your partner. Not only is keeping your phone in the bedroom a huge distraction, but it’s also a turn-off. Your partner is hardly going to be in the mood for sex if you bring your phone into the bed with you. It makes it look like you’re not bothered by their feelings and that can be really damaging to your relationship. For the love of God, keep your phone out of the bedroom!
  10. Your partner tells you they feel neglected. An obvious sign that your phone is responsible for the problems in your relationship is when your partner starts to notice it as well. If they tell you that it feels like you’re drifting apart then it’s probably because you’re spending way too much time on your phone instead of spending time with them. A study showed that those who feel that their partner is too dependent on their phone feel less satisfied with their relationship. You don’t have to stop using your phone completely, but if you cut down on how much time you spend using it then you’ll notice a big difference in your relationship as well as your mental health.
Coralle is a freelance writer and blogger with a special interest in Mental Health & wellness, Women's health, and relationships.

Find her at justcoralle.com