10 Ways Rom-Coms Trick Us Into Having Unrealistic Expectations About Men

If you’ve watched one too many rom-coms and are sure your perfect dude is still out there, I hate to break it to you, but that’s probably not going to happen. If you really want to find your soulmate, you’ll have to give up Hollywood’s version of Mr. Right and get real. Here are 10 ways rom-coms misrepresent guys:

  1. They’re all as handsome as Greek gods. Maybe I just haven’t seen enough romance movies, but I’ve yet to see a real average-looking hero. If it’s not Ryan Gosling that’s sweeping the heroine off her feet, it’s Chris Pine or Channing Tatum or another drop dead gorgeous Hollywood actor. It’s just not realistic. We don’t even see that many hot guys on a regular basis. Because we only see hot guys on screen, we find it hard to be attracted to less attractive guys no matter how good of a match we are with them.
  2. There are six-packs and bulging muscles everywhere. There’s no denying that two-thirds of Americans are obese or overweight. And believe it or not, the average weight of men is 195.7 lbs. However, the heroes in romance movies always have nice bodies, either giving you the false idea that most men look like that or that men have to look like that to be worthy of you. In reality, the percentage of men who work out and have six-packs is really low, so the likelihood of you getting a ripped, sculpted partner is also low.
  3. They’re all chivalrous as knights. In the movies, men are complete gentlemen. They do stuff for you like open doors, pay for the date, etc. In real life, men may still do these things, but not every man does. This doesn’t mean they wouldn’t make great partners—they’re just realizing that they no longer have to do these things for women. If we’re asking for equality, we can’t continue to expect guys to give us special treatment.
  4. If they’re not rich, they’re at least wealthier than you. A lot of the heroes in romance movies wear a suit and have nice cars and homes. They also treat their women to fancy dinners. In real life, you can’t expect to end up with a millionaire. He’s probably just gonna make a little more money than you, if not less than you. He’s most likely not going to fully support you financially, so you need to work hard on getting a good career and a stable job. (Wouldn’t you want to do that anyway?)
  5. They get you off every single time. All those sexy bed scenes make us hope to find a man that knows how to satisfy us in bed. Unfortunately, most men don’t really know how to please their women, so if your date or boyfriend can’t get you off, don’t be too hard on him. Instead, communicate your desires and work with him to fulfill them.
  6. They’re capable of (and passionate about) spontaneous romance. Very few men are capable of spontaneous romantic acts because they’re just not interested in it. Most men just don’t have it in them to plan a romantic date, so don’t be disappointed if yours isn’t romantic. It’s really not part of their genetic makeup.
  7. They’re all gifted mind readers. It’s truly unfair for women to expect men to know what we want or what we’re thinking. Men rarely ever know what we’re thinking. Most of the time, they’re struggling to figure us out. Avoid potential misunderstandings and stupid arguments by telling them what exactly you’re thinking. Communicate what you want. Men aren’t gonna just “get” you.
  8. They passionately declare their love for you. Men aren’t going to say, “I can’t live my life without you” or “You’re more beautiful than anyone I’ve ever laid eyes on.” Whether or not you admit it, these are just things we women want to hear and not necessarily something that naturally comes out of their mouths.
  9. They’re literally flawless. The heroes in romance movies are always so spotless and so bright that they blind us. They’re good looking, sexy, romantic, intelligent, exciting and rich. That can’t be farther away from the truth in real life. If you’re looking for a perfect man or if you’re only going to date your ideal guy, trust me, you’re going to end up alone for the rest of your life.
  10. They’ll always change for you. If men aren’t depicted as perfect individuals devoid of any flaws, they’re depicted as having the ability, will, and determination to change for you. It’s basically every woman’s fantasy to change the bad guy into a good guy. In real life, that’s not gonna happen. Either stop trying to change your guy and accept him for who he is or break it off.
I'm a nomad and anime nerd who loves rock climbing and traveling.