10 Ways Being Smart AF Makes Dating More Complicated Than It Needs To Be

You’re smart AF and that’s a blessing. It means you know what you want and how to get it and that you won’t accept less than you deserve in life. You’re passionate, well-rounded and have amazing things to offer the world around you. In other words, you’re the total package. So why can’t you find a guy who appreciates that? Turns out, your crazy high intelligence level can also be a burden on your love life. Here’s how:

  1. You overthink everything. You know how to analyze and more likely overanalyze any situation. Everything he does and every word a guy says becomes a clue in a puzzle that doesn’t need to exist. You’re trying to figure out who he is, if he really likes you, and if he’s worth it, and that’s normal. However, you end up spending so much time analyzing that you’re missing what’s right in front of you — a really great guy.
  2. You always think you’re right. To be fair, a lot of the time you probably are, but nobody wants to be with someone who’s never wrong. That’s far too intimidating. You don’t need to dumb yourself down by any means, but sort opinions from facts. Your opinion is subjective, so you shouldn’t make every guy feel like your word is the last on any given topic.
  3. Your memory is far too good to forget the past. You remember every word your ex said, every plan you made together and every lie he told you. You’ll never forget the pain he caused or the ways he broke your heart. Because of your inability to forget (or at least fully move on), every time a man is interested, you think back to that pain and you assume he’ll be just like your ex. You can’t open yourself to the future because you’re too busy rehashing the past.
  4. You know how much of a risk love is. You’ve weighed the odds and you’re not sure if love is really worth it. You either find true love or you get your heart broken, but is love really worth all the pain? There are billions of people in this world and the odds of finding the one guy who won’t hurt you doesn’t seem very likely.
  5. You always fear the worst because statistically, it’s bound to happen. Sure, you’re hoping for the best, but life has taught you to prepare for the worst. You try to be optimistic, but your brain can’t forget the other side of the fence. You want to fall in love but you’re worried every guy you meet is a heartbreaker. You’re playing defense so hard that no man can ever get in.
  6. You read between the lines. Being a good student and avid reader has taught you that there is always more than meets the eye to any given situation. Men will tell you that they mean exactly what they say, but you can’t help but read between the lines of every word that comes out of their mouths.
  7. You take too many precautions to protect your heart. Sometimes you just have to jump, but you’d never do that without knowing there’s a secure net to catch you. You put a wall up to protect yourself because you’re too afraid to let anybody in. Just remember if you never open the doors, then no man will ever see the real you. You’ve built a great fortress, but sitting inside the brick walls, you’re nothing but alone.
  8. You don’t trust anyone but yourself. You know that most people are looking out for their own interests, so you’ve learned how to watch your back. It’s great that you’re looking out for yourself, but at some point, you need to learn how to lean on others. You shouldn’t just give away trust, but at least give a man a chance to earn it.
  9. You’re not exactly spontaneous. You like to think things through and weigh every option before you make a decision. You’re trying to keep yourself from failing, but you may also be preventing yourself from succeeding. Love can’t be calculated. Sometimes you just have to take a chance. You need to start living in the moment, but all you do is worry about what comes next.
  10. You spot every red flag. You might think that’s a good thing, but only if those flags are actual signs you shouldn’t give this guy a chance. You’re the harshest judge and in reality, will any man ever be good enough? You’re looking for perfection but every man has a past and every man carries baggage. You have to accept that no man will be perfect, and neither are you.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.
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