10 Ways Wanting And Needing A Man Are Two Very Different Things

Wanting a relationship is normal but when that desire for partnership turns you into a clingy shadow of your former self who simply can’t be without a guy, you’re likely to find anything but true love. There’s a major difference between wanting and needing a man and it’s important that you know it.

  1. Wanting is knowing your worth; needing is taking what you can get. Forget desperately hanging onto whatever guy conveniently stumbles into your life. Being a strong, fierce woman means knowing your value. This means that when a man tries to dull your shine or repeatedly lets you down, you don’t hesitate to show him the door. Abandoning the urge to be constantly paired up and setting high standards for a partner may just get you exactly what you want.
  2. Wanting is sharing your strength; needing is seeking validation. Fostering a healthy relationship means wanting someone with whom you can share your life without needing them to make you feel whole. When you’re self-assured, confident and secure, you seek a man who’s there to support you but you don’t need his approval to feel good. Wanting a guy means finding someone whose input you value but whose opinions you’d never put above your own.
  3. Wanting is standing tall; needing is caving in. Feeling like you need a man may lead you to make unhealthy compromises or excuses for his bad behavior. Before you know it, you find yourself bending to his demands to keep him happy at the expensive of your own well-being and happiness. When you want a man, it’s all about finding an equal. You want a guy who lets you speak your mind and doesn’t run when you stand your ground. Staying firm in your beliefs and values can land you a partner you not only want but deserve.
  4. Wanting is owning your power; needing is feeling endless self-doubt. The best part of being a badass is feeling secure in exactly how amazing you are. Neediness can leave you questioning yourself and forfeiting your voice for fear that taking a stand or disagreeing may leave you alone. When you’re truly ready for a relationship, you want a man who values your strength and would never try to control you. Whether it’s deciding what to binge on Netflix, where to eat out, or even how to divide household chores, you want a guy who asks for your thoughts ad takes your opinions seriously.
  5. Wanting is staying true to yourself; needing is losing your identity. Getting swept up in a new relationship can be an incredible experience but losing sight of your own life in the process is less than ideal. Wanting a man means finding someone who applauds your independence and encourages you to keep up with the friends, hobbies and interests you brought into the relationship. When you start to skip out on girls’ nights or forgo alone time, you quickly forget who you are without him. Your partner should never become your identity. Instead, love lies in wanting someone who would never make you give up on yourself.
  6. Wanting is putting in the work; needing is living a fantasy. Relationships take work. Wanting a man means you’re willing to put in the effort, expecting that he’ll do the same and feeling confident that the end result is worth it. When you need someone, it’s for an idealized relationship. You may think you need a guy to bring you happiness, to feel like you’re succeeding in life, or even to keep up with the other cute couples on social media. Needless to say, that’s a recipe for disappointment and disaster.
  7. Wanting is feeling ready; needing is feeling lonely. Being single, especially for a long time, can leave you feeling hopelessly alone. When you see your friends coupling up, you may be compelled to do the same with the first guy who looks your way. Please don’t. Putting energy into a guy just so you have someone isn’t a worthwhile endeavor. Wanting a guy means feeling ready for a meaningful partnership, not looking for a band-aid for loneliness.
  8. Wanting is a health balance; needing is obsession. Even when you want a man, you still want your own life. Needing a guy means obsessing over where he is, who he’s with, when he’ll call, text, make plans with you, and the list goes on. Wanting a guy goes hand-in-hand with wanting time for yourself, your friends, your family and your career. You’re fly AF and a guy is only one piece of your puzzle.
  9. Wanting is follow-through; needing is empty threats. Making ultimatums you never intend to keep or tolerating his broken promises are sure signs that you think you need a man in your life, no matter the consequences. If you’re that desperate, he’s never going to change, and you’ll be left feeling disheartened. Wanting a guy means wanting the right guy and not settling for anything less.. It’s no nonsense, no empty threats, and no fear of moving on if things just aren’t right.
  10. Wanting is love; needing is co-dependence. When you need someone for anything from loneliness and complacency to self-doubt and validation, it often ends in you feeling dependent on a man who simply isn’t worth it. If you don’t sell yourself short and trust your gut, you’ll learn exactly what type of man you want.
Brittany spends her days in a corporate Chicago office and her nights fueling her passion for writing. When not consumed by professional endeavors, Brittany can be found dining out with friends or mastering the art of Netflix and chill.