10 Ways To Win Over An Independent Woman From The Very Beginning

If you want a strong, independent woman, you need to earn her. We’re skeptical and tough but not heartless. When you find your way into our good graces, you’ll be glad you made an effort. Here are 10 surefire ways to impress us right off the bat:

  1. Respect us. A strong woman demands respect and we’ll immediately dismiss any man who doesn’t give it. Prove to us from the start that you know we’re independent and capable human beings and that you respect us for it. Treat us well and demonstrate that you recognize us as an autonomous individual who doesn’t need a caretaker. That’ll get our attention for sure.
  2. Show us admiration. Strong women generally have many accomplishments, so ask about them and give her the adulation we deserve. We’re used to people taking us for granted and assuming we don’t need positive feedback. Ask us about ourselves and show authentic interest in our replies. We don’t need your compliments but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give them. If you treat us the way we deserve, we’ll truly appreciate you.
  3. Ask us questions. Our bold personalities don’t mean that we want to drive the conversation all the time. If you show us that you aren’t lazy and that you’re interested in learning more about us, we’ll stop and take notice. Men sometimes spend all their time talking about themselves, treating us like a therapist or trying to impress us. It’s gross and unappealing. We’ll love your genuine involvement.
  4. Take us seriously. There’s nothing we detest more than men who don’t take us seriously. Do not dismiss us, patronize us, or speak to us in a condescending manner. For the love of God, never ever mansplain to us. We’ll be done with you in a heartbeat. Give our opinions and thoughts the weight and gravity they deserve and engage us in real conversation. That’ll spark our interest.
  5. Pay attention to detail. Most men gloss over the little things and don’t pay much attention when we tells them specifics. Don’t be that guy. We’ll definitely take notice of you if you make it clear that you care enough to remember what we say to you. Surprise us with our favorite flowers or take us somewhere we’ve said we’ve always wanted to go. We’re impressed by specificity and personalized gestures, not grandiose general ones.
  6. See through to our softer side. Most men don’t take the time to notice a strong woman’s many facets. Too often we’re put into boxes, categorized as “bitchy” or “a ballbuster” or “intense.” We have our opinions, yes, but that’s not all we are. Our beauty lies in our unique complexity, our many complicated layers that are so very worth peeling back. You have to understand us in order to gain our trust and affection, but once you do, we’ll always have your back.
  7. Be clear with your intentions. Independent women know who we are and we don’t have time to waste with any guy who isn’t on the same page. We don’t want to dilly-dally and play games. If you’re interested, be upfront and clear. Show confidence without crossing the line into aggression. We’ll respect your honesty and be more apt to respond in kind. If you’re vague, we’re likely to give up and walk away.
  8. Always be honest with us. There’s no point in overselling yourself to try and appear cooler. We see through all that instantly and we won’t respect it. We want a mature, honest human. No one is perfect — we certainly know that we’re not. We’ll appreciate you if you tell us the truth and admit any flaws or issues that you have. Perhaps we can even bond over them. Your openness will encourage us to be open with you in return.
  9. Be proactive and attentive. Too many men assume that because we have a strong personality, we want to take control. That’s not true. In fact, we’re tired of men who expect us to do so. Surprise us by being the partner we need — someone who asks us out and actually follows through. Show us you think we deserve special treatment and you’ll make a lasting impression.
  10. Romance us. Our strength doesn’t mean we’re adverse to being treated like a queen once in a while. Our inner softie loves romance just as much as the next girl. Do sweet stuff for us and don’t be shy about it. We don’t mind if you’re bold — we admire that more than the alternative. Better to romance us too hard than not enough! We may balk a little initially because we’re not used to it, but we appreciate it nonetheless.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.