10 Ways You Could Be Coming Off As Desperate To Guys

I’ve said it before and we’ll say it again — there’s nothing wrong with a girl making the first move. At the same time, sometimes your best strategy is to back off and let him do a little chasing because you want him to know you aren’t easy to get. There’s nothing that scares a guy away faster than a girl who latches onto him the first chance she gets. You should want to be with him because he’s special, not because you just want a guy (any guy). Believe me, he can tell the difference. Here’s how you might be coming off as desperate (which is a shame, because you’re actually amazing):

  1. Texting him multiple times before he even responds once. I know it’s frustrating when a guy takes forever to respond to text messages, but sending him more messages isn’t going to make him move any faster. He either hasn’t seen the original text or he just didn’t want to respond. Either way, you never want to be the girl that sends the “helllooo?” text. If you do that, you can pretty much expect to never hear from him again.
  2. Calling him your boyfriend before you’ve had the talk. You might think that since you’ve been dating a couple months, it’s just common knowledge that you’re boyfriend and girlfriend, but you’d be very very wrong. If you haven’t talked about it with him, don’t, under any circumstances, introduce him as your boyfriend to a coworker you unexpectedly run into while out at brunch. Just don’t.
  3. Blowing off your friends for him. Those friends are the ones you’re going to want around when this guy inevitably dumps you because it seems like you have no friends. So be nice to them.
  4. Always being available for last minute plans. If you don’t hear from him all week and then you get a text at 6pm on Friday night, do you jump at the chance to hang out with him? He’s going to think you have nothing else going on and you’re waiting by the phone for him to pay attention to you. Spontaneous plans are great sometimes, but if you’re always available last minute, he’ll never bother trying to plan ahead because he’ll know you’re basically at his beck and call.
  5. Putting up with him treating you badly. Girls that date guys who consistently treat them like crap are afraid to be alone. It’s a simple as that. They’d rather be in a terrible relationship than no relationship, which means they’ll settle for anything.
  6. Wanting it to get serious really fast. Rushing into a relationship usually doesn’t end well. It comes across like you aren’t happy with your life so you need a guy to validate your existence. You want to lock him down with the L-word and living together so he won’t have the chance to lose interest and ghost you.
  7. Not bothering to have a life of your own. What’s the point in having friends and a career you care about if you’re just going to leave all that behind once you find a guy? His life will be your life anyway, right?
  8. Trying too hard with his friends. His friend’s opinion of you matters, whether you like it or not. They’re the ones who can judge you objectively because they haven’t seen you naked. They’ll be able to tell if you’re being fake too, so don’t overdo it, because they’ll see right through you.
  9. Extreme jealousy. Girls who are desperate to hang on to their guys are the ones who automatically assume he’s cheating if he so much as talks to another woman. Paranoia and desperation go hand and hand, and neither one is cute.
  10. Pretending you’re someone you’re not so he’ll like you. We all exaggerate certain things in the beginning, like how into house music we really are. But if you’re turning into a completely different person just to keep him around (say going to raves every weekend and forgetting you’re more of a country fan than anything else), the truth will eventually come out.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.