While dating in your 20s can be rough, many women find that dating in their 30s is even harder. But when you look for love with an extra decade of experience behind you, you also have a little extra wisdom. Your perspective on love changes as you get into your 30s in so many ways, and that’s a good thing. Here are some ways you start looking at things through a whole different lens.
You think for the long term.
As you get into your 30s and beyond, it’s natural to start thinking about what you want for the long term. This applies to all areas of life, including love. It’s not that you’re time is running out or 30 is by any means old. But most people start becoming a little more conscious of how the decisions they make will affect them in the long run. A potential flame who once would’ve seemed like a great idea might not be so appealing if you can’t see a future with them.
You know what your deal-breakers are.
As hard as dating in your 20s is, it teaches you a lot of lessons. The more terrible dating experiences you have, the more you learn what your deal-breakers are in a relationship. Of course, you still learn in your 30s. But as you move through those years, you’ll have a better idea of what you’re not willing to tolerate from your dates.
You’re reluctant to make the same mistakes.
Sometimes, it takes making a mistake more than once before you finally learn from it. We’ve all been there! But the older we get, the wiser we get. And the more likely we are to put the lessons we’ve learned into practice. You won’t be perfect at love in your 30s. But you’ll probably be better at it than you were in your 20s. You’ll be more likely to apply the lessons you’ve learned and stop repeating the same old errors.
You have a better understanding of your worth.
With age and wisdom comes an appreciation of how much you’re worth. This is one of the main reasons why you won’t tolerate as much BS in your 30s. You’ll have a better idea of what you deserve and how amazing you are. That’s not to say that there still won’t be painful moments. Getting rejected hurts even if you know you’re amazing. So does being dumped or cheated on. But if you know your worth, you’ll be more likely to bounce back more quickly. Those painful moments will be less devastating.
The milestones aren’t so scary.
Even for the ultimate romanticist, relationship milestones can be super daunting. Getting engaged, moving in, getting married, or having a baby will always be huge. Those life changes can feel intimidating. But usually, this is even more true when you’re younger. By the time you reach your 30s, you might be more settled in other areas of your life, and more equipped to deal with changes. Or you might have watched your friends reach the same milestones. That makes them a little less daunting.
It’s no longer a race.
When you’re in your 20s, a lot of life’s areas can seem like one big race, even though you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. You might think you have to have the perfect job and the perfect relationship figured out by 25. That’s what those influencers do, right? The truth is those things are never a race. When you reach your 30s, you technically have less time ahead of you, but you do have more understanding. And you’ll know that everyone moves in their own time, so there’s no need to rush into a relationship for the sake of it.
Your priorities change.
The things that you value in a relationship might also change when you get to your 30s. Many younger people have a more superficial view of love than their older counterparts. The most important elements might be that your partner is attractive and rich, or can take you on amazing adventures. As you age and you learn more about the world, it’s very possible that your values will change too. Instead, you might prioritize a partner whom you can trust and who wants the same things out of life as you do.
You aren’t afraid to call it quits.
The older we get, the more our tolerance for BS tends to decrease. Because you know your worth and you know your deal-breakers, you won’t be so afraid to walk away from anything that isn’t serving you, including a bad relationship. When you’re younger and more naïve, you might be more inclined to stay in a relationship that doesn’t work because you’re afraid of being alone. But in your 30s, you come closer to understanding that if your standards aren’t being met, it’s just not worth it.
You’re more willing to voice your needs.
It takes time to develop the confidence to voice your needs and wants in a relationship. As you reach your 30s and continue to age, you’ll hopefully find your voice and stop being so scared to tell your partner what you need. Like many other daunting parts of being in a relationship, this comes with practice!
You lose your fear of being single.
The fear of being single plagues women of all ages. But the more time you have to build confidence and self-love, the less you’ll fear being alone. Many women find that they’re not as terrified of the single life in their 30s as they were when they were younger. That might be because they’ve been single for a while and seen that it’s not so bad. Or perhaps they’ve been in bad relationships and now know it’s better to be alone. It’s likely, though, that women lose this silly fear because they finally understand that they’re complete on their own.
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