10 Ways You’re Intimidating To Guys And Why You Should Be Proud

You probably don’t strive to come off as intimidating towards potential partners, but if it happens, it might not be a bad thing. After all, it’s not your problem if guys are threatened by a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. Here are a few ways that you freak guys out and why it’s actually a sign that you’re a total badass that other women aspire to be.

  1. You know what you want from your relationships. You don’t ask what men are looking for from a relationship in order to tailor your own needs to fit theirs. You go on a first date knowing why you’re there and what you’re hoping to find in the other person, and you prefer to tell them what you’re looking for sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, because this is a new experience for a lot of guys, some of them are intimidated by it.
  2. You don’t defer to their wishes. Compromise is a necessary part of any successful relationship, but complete forfeiture is not. You have no interest in abandoning what you need simply to make a guy’s life easier. You recognize that betraying yourself is far worse than losing a partner who is demonstrably not right for you, and you are prepared to stick up for yourself no matter how uncomfortable it makes the other person.
  3. You put your career above new relationships. You fall in love just as hard as the next hopeless romantic, but you also have goals outside of your personal life. Your job is extremely important to you, and it takes a while before a relationship will take priority. If a guy you’ve been seeing for a few weeks can’t understand why you’re too busy to go out on a Tuesday night, you have no problem ditching him. You have bigger goals.
  4. You have experience with dating. You don’t try to hide the fact that you’ve been with other people. You don’t pretend to be sexually innocent, nor do you try to justify your dating history. This can make men uncomfortable if they feel that you might be more experienced than they are, or that you’ve been with guys who are more attractive. Luckily for you, you recognize that it’s not your job to make them feel any more desirable than you find them to be.
  5. You’re comfortable being single. Nothing makes an insecure guy more uncomfortable than a woman who doesn’t need him. You approach dates with a positive attitude but are never worried about what happens if you’re not into the person. The idea of being single isn’t a daunting or unappealing prospect. You actually love being on your own. You’ll only have a partner if he adds to your already happily single existence.
  6. You put your friends before your romantic partners. Your friends are in your life for longer than most of your partners. Boyfriends come and go, but your inner circle of friends can last a lifetime. You don’t think it’s strange to prioritize your friends over your boyfriends. To you, it’s a logical and authentic instinct. Some guys find this intimidating because they would feel much more comfortable if you dropped everything and let your life revolve around them, but you’re not swayed. You know who your people are, and you put them first.
  7. You have boundaries. No matter how much you like a person, you have certain requirements for your relationships that you will not change for anyone. For example, you might need more alone time than the other person wants, or you might have different ideas about how you share your relationship with others. Your boundaries are firm, even if it means the end of a relationship.
  8. You have standards. You’re willing to give people a try, and even a second chance sometimes. But you do have a limit. You’re clear about when a person falls below you’re standards, and this clarity allows you to act decisively and quickly. Some guys are freaked out by this because it means you’re immune to manipulation and they are therefore can’t persuade you to compromise your standards for them.
  9. You ask them out on dates sometimes. Even guys who think of themselves as being progressive on gender stereotypes are thrown off when a woman asks them out. It’s not a part of their game plan, and they’ve never been in that situation until you put them there. They may feel like they’ve been put on the spot, or like you’ve taken away their autonomy. If this is the case, you did the world a favor by giving them a reality check about what it’s like to be in a woman’s shoes.
  10. You don’t try to impress them. A lot of people are so anxious about whether or not their date will find them attractive that they do everything they can to flatter the person. This includes laughing at every joke, being enthusiastic about all their hobbies, and pretending to have seen their favorite movie. Most guys love this because it makes them feel important and interesting. But you’re not the kind of person who’s desperate to impress, because you know that being yourself is enough.
Rose Nolan is a writer and editor from Austin, TX who focuses on all things female and fabulous. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Theater from the University of Surrey and a Master's Degree in Law from the University of Law. She’s been writing professional since 2015 and, in addition to her work for Bolde, she’s also written for Ranker and Mashed. She's published articles on topics ranging from travel, higher education, women's lifestyle, law, food, celebrities, and more.