First dates can be magical or they can be the worst things in the world. There’s so much that goes into the first time you sit across from someone in a bar: whether there’s chemistry, whether you can talk openly, whether you get their sense of humor (hopefully they have one, or that’s another story). Unfortunately, thanks to online dating, so much of the work happens before you even go on that first date, since you’re trying to figure out if you even want to meet this person at all. There’s a strange trend happening right now where you chat with someone on Tinder or OKCupid, get close to arranging a date… and then things get weird. Here are 10 weird ways guys try to get out of a date before it even happens. If any of these happen to you, run far, far away and don’t look back.
- He’s going on a two-week vacation. I can’t even tell you the number of times guys have said this to me. It’s interesting how many people can a) afford this and b) magically seem to be about to go on a trip just as you’re making plans to meet up. If you try to give him the benefit of the doubt and get in touch once the two week mark has passed, good luck ever hearing from him again. He’ll just ghost you like crazy. Why even talk to me in the first place or agree to a date?
- He’s soooo busy. Oh, the busy excuse. We’re all busy. We have careers and BFFs and family and TV shows to catch up on. We buy groceries, we attempt to cook, we clean our apartments, we worry about things we can’t control. Yet we’re still able to go on dates because we’re interested in finding love. So when a guy tells me that he’s way too busy to go out with me, it’s pretty weird. You’re definitely worth it, so wait for someone who can actually manage to arrange a first date.
- He’s dying from The Plague (aka a normal cold). I’m somehow able to go on a date when I’m recovering from a cold because I don’t want to cancel – and besides, I’m a grownup and know a few hours out won’t kill me. If a guy says he’s too sick to meet you and makes another plan ASAP, okay, it’s probably true and you can trust him… but it could also be a pretty lame excuse.
- He completely disappears. It’s hard not to feel like crap when you’re having an amazing chat with someone online or on Tinder and then the guy just 100 percent stops talking to you when the subject of a first date comes up. But don’t feel bad – this guy is clearly afraid of dating and so he’s really not someone you want to be dealing with. Eventually you’ll go on that first date that turns into a second one, and all the weird behavior will be worth it.
- He waits two days to reply. It’s 2015, so a lot of us have no problems asking a guy out. Things get super strange when you bring up meeting for a drink and then the guy answers a few days later. What is he waiting for? Is he that scared to say yes? Is he trying to figure out if you’re cool enough to warrant a first date? Gross. You’re definitely cool enough, and you’re probably too cool for him.
- After the first date, he says, “Text me.” This happened to one of my BFFs and I found it so odd, especially since the guy ended up texting her the next day anyway. So you manage to go on a first date which can feel like an Olympic achievement and then the guy seems to forget how this whole dating thing works. Sometimes this doesn’t really mean anything and you do end up seeing him again, but sometimes he’s trying to get out of taking any responsibility. Moving on.
- He’s apartment hunting. Did you know that looking for a place to live is a convenient way of getting out of a date? You do now. A guy used this line on me on OKCupid a while ago and it still makes me laugh/groan.
- He’s hung over. Again, this happened to a good friend of mine. It’s even worse when it’s a weeknight. Is he a frat boy? Unable to handle his liquor? Just a huge baby? Probably all of the above, so you’re definitely better off without him.
- He forgot that he’s going on a mid-week trip. Another excuse a guy gave a friend (ugh). This guy cancelled on her three times in a row and then said he was in a nearby town with his friends. The weirdest part? This was a Wednesday. He claimed he was a lawyer, but come on – what lawyer can afford to just take off mid-week?
- He wants to chat more to see if you get along. Sure, it’s not the greatest idea to message a guy online and want to go out immediately without even chatting a bit first. But it’s also not a good idea to talk for weeks and weeks because then you get your hopes up and probably end up not even meeting at all. An hour or so seems like a reasonable amount of time to know if you want to actually meet the person without getting in too deep or setting yourself up for disappointment.
If you experience any of this weirdness, feel free to move on and find someone who actually wants to go on a first date with you. At least you’ll know they know how to make a plan.
