A few months ago, I decided to begin a dating detox. I wasn’t going through a heartbreak or feeling bitter towards men, I just honestly needed some time where I wasn’t obsessing over dating. So far, things couldn’t be going better.
- I started creating deeper friendships. I’m going on more girl dates, meeting more people, and overall just putting more focus on my girlfriends. I’m also finding that our conversations are deeper. The friends that I’m attracting are definitely better for me, as well. Instead of just talking about our respective dating lives, we connect over mutual interests and real life struggles that don’t center around men.
- I developed a real “me-time” routine. I no longer need to have plans every night of the week. I’m starting to really enjoy my nights in with tea, candles, and a movie. At the end of a long day, I crave this self-care time. And if I ever get lonely, I text a girlfriend rather than trying to find a last-minute date or texting an ex.
- I started a side hustle. I’ve always wanted to take the time to create my own little side business, but I used to always be too busy or too exhausted. Dating takes up a lot of time and energy. When I wasn’t with a guy, I’d be texting him or thinking about him. As soon as I stopped stressing about what was going to happen next, I was able to channel that energy into something more productive. Suddenly, I have so much more time to write, pitch clients, and create a second income stream that I actually enjoy working on.
- I really started focusing on other interests. Honestly, it might be more accurate to say I discovered other interests. When I first decided to take this hiatus, I realized I didn’t have many hobbies. I think when I was dating, that was my hobby. Of course, I did other things, but I never got too deeply involved in anything. Now, I’m challenging myself to finish the projects that I start and become the best I can be. For instance, each week I’m challenging myself to try a new recipe. I never used to cook!
- I started to really enjoy nights out. As much as I hate to admit it, I used to spend a lot of the time at bars scoping the scene for a cute guy to flirt with. Or, if I was in a relationship, I spent the night missing my BF. Now, I spend the night focusing on my girls and dancing my heart out. I’m much more able to enjoy the present. In fact, now when I’m at house parties, I find myself drifting towards the other women in the room, instead of the men. I also stopped putting so much effort into looking “hot”. I am dressing for me, after all so whatever makes me feel confident and comfy is enough.
- I’ve become so much more self-reliant. I was always that girl who had some guy or another on her speed dial for emergency repairs, questions about car troubles, or financial advice. Once I stopped depending on these male acquaintances and former lovers, I realized I had to learn how to do these things myself. It hasn’t been easy and I still don’t totally have my shit together in this department. But each time I make a stride in the right direction, it feels great.
- I started feeling empowered. My confidence shot through the roof. I used to feel so helpless. It seemed impossible to find a good guy and there was so much that was out of my control: waiting for texts, wondering where things were going but knowing it was too soon to ask. But there’s a huge difference between not seeing anyone because you can’t find a good guy and not seeing anyone because you refuse to. It’s nice to take a break and regain that feeling of control.
- I became super introspective. I’m really enjoying learning about myself. I question my beliefs, look at my strengths and weaknesses, and try to figure out how I can become a better person. I’m also discovering what I really want in life and love.
- My mood is more stable. Yeah, the ups and downs of dating can be exciting, but ditching all of that drama has actually been a huge relief.
- More importantly, I’m happy. I always thought I needed that thrill of a first date every once in awhile to add zest to my life. In reality, I think I’m happier without it. Routine isn’t all that bad and I enjoy creating my own fun.
- I’m still open to love when it comes. If I meet someone that I really click with then, great. But I’m not going to go out looking for it. That means no prowling at the bar and no dating apps. Eventually I might get back in the game, but being single rocks.
