Raise your hand if you’ve ever been victimized by an almost relationship. Yeah, me too. That frustratingly undefined, emotionally turbulent period in our lives can have lasting effects on your outlook on love but fortunately, it’s not all bad. If you’ve been affected, you’ve probably learned some pretty important lessons.
If it’s already difficult, it won’t get any easier. If the relationship is an absolute struggle from the get-go, it’s only going to get worse. You realize you shouldn’t have to work so hard just to keep the relationship from sinking, and if that’s the way things are already, it won’t stay afloat for long.
You should believe people when they show you who they are. Talk is cheap, but actions speak volumes. If all you got from him was sweet talk but his actions were nothing short of infuriating, he’s shown you exactly who he is, regardless of what he told you.
Making your feelings clear doesn’t make you crazy. Even though he probably made you feel like the crazy girl for wanting more out of the situation, being clear with your feelings and relationship goals is totally normal behavior. If he can’t handle a simple conversation and communicate in a direct way with you, that says a lot about his maturity, or lack thereof.
If it’s not what you want, you need to leave. If you’ve wasted tons of time and energy trying to make a relationship happen, you realize that the next time someone isn’t giving you what you want, it’s time to bail. If you want commitment and he keeps making excuses, save yourself the frustration and find a guy who would be thrilled to call you his girlfriend.
You weren’t the problem. Any guy who will consistently lie and string a girl along for months on end, isn’t the guy you want to end up with anyway. He’s someone who obviously puts himself first and doesn’t even know how to consider the other person.
It can be harder having an almost relationship end than a defined one. Probably because the relationship is so undefined, there’s also a serious lack of closure. Nothing really feels final because you never really knew where you stood in the first place. Not only that, but getting over the picture you had in your head of what could have been is the worst.
Some people won’t get why you’re devastated, but your feelings are valid. Though some people might not understand why you’re so upset over someone who wasn’t even your boyfriend, it doesn’t make your feelings any less true. Not only did you like the guy regardless of titles, you were also put through months of emotional turmoil, and the aftermath is never easy.
You’ll grow from it, big time. Nothing teaches you how strong you are, and how much more you deserve, than dealing with a terrible guy in an almost relationship. Though you’ll probably feel pretty weak and broken initially, as you heal you’ll feel more empowered and clear than ever.
One time is definitely more than enough. Going through the emotional hell of an almost relationship pretty much solidifies the fact that you’ll never want to put yourself through it again. Once is enough to read the warning signs for next time too so you can get out of there quickly if you ever find yourself in the same situation.
If someone wants to be with you, they will be. It’s a pretty straightforward theory, but it’s also completely true. If a guy wants to be with you, he won’t be making tons of excuses preventing it from happening. When he tells you he isn’t ready to commit, or he’s too afraid, he’s probably just keeping his options open, or keeping you around until someone he deems “better” comes along.
You can’t make someone like you. At the end of the day, no matter how awesome you are and how hard you try, you’ll never change his mind. If trying to make things work is like pulling teeth, you’re fighting a simply impossible battle. If he doesn’t want to be with you, don’t try and change who you are to make it happen, kick him to the curb instead.
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