11 Obvious Signs He Doesn’t Take Relationships Seriously

You might feel serious about him and want to take your relationship to a more committed level, but he might be happy to just mess around indefinitely. How can you tell if he’s not serious about relationships? By keeping your eyes open for these 11 signs.

  1. He’s extremely lazy. A sure sign he’s not interested in having a serious relationship with you or anyone is if he doesn’t make an effort. He doesn’t call when he says he will or text when he promised he would. He forgets dates or never initiates conversation. What’s wrong with this dude?
  2. He has to be chased. Linked to the above point is how you have to chase him like he’s a toddler or something. You always have to check in to see if he’s still going to turn up for your date and to make sure he won’t leave you hanging like he did last time. It’s no wonder you feel so drained all the time – you’re running around after him too much.
  3. He jokes about relationships. You can tell a lot about someone by what they joke about. If this guy’s always poking fun at relationships and love or commenting about how awesome it is to be single, that’s not a good sign that he’s in a relationship state of mind or sees a future with you. The same goes for if he’s always teasing his married friends or making snide remarks about marriage in general.
  4. He takes you for granted. A guy who’s serious about you will show you how much he loves and appreciates you and everything you do for him. If you bring him food when he’s got the flu and he doesn’t thank you or you feel like whatever you do is never enough for him, this guy’s a joke. Maybe he’s just selfish in general, but that’s not boyfriend material.
  5. His ex files are a mess. You can tell a lot about what a guy thinks about relationships and how serious he’s going to be with you by checking out what his previous relationships were like. If his relationship history is filled with angry, bitter – or as he calls them, “crazy” – women, there’s probably a reason for that and he’s the problem.
  6. He keeps his life under wraps. If you feel like you know him but not as well as you’d like, maybe there’s a reason for that – he’s keeping you at arm’s length because he doesn’t want to get too close to you emotionally. You shouldn’t have to drill him to find out more about him and his life, especially if you’ve been dating for months! A guy who’s serious about you will be more open than that.
  7. He’s allergic to labels. Ah, the guy who doesn’t want to label his relationships. If he tells you that he doesn’t like or feel the need for relationship labels, that’s a red flag he’s not serious about relationships – and probably won’t change his mind for you.
  8. He goes with the flow. If he seems like the type of guy who’s super chilled about relationships and never seems to initiate contact with you, then maybe relationships aren’t on his radar. He’d have to step up and take charge, but it doesn’t seem like he’s keen on that. A peek into his relationship history might also reveal that women have always had to take charge and ask him out.
  9. He’s a bit party guy. While there’s nothing wrong with partying up a storm on the weekends, you can tell that a guy who’s always hitting the club and getting drunk with his friends isn’t really the type who looks like he wants to chill on the couch with his girlfriend or settle down any time soon.
  10. He’s childish. Another sure sign he’s not interested in getting into a relationship? He’s childish. The guy’s all about pranks and spending time with his mates doing stupid things to make each other laugh. Ugh. There’s no way he’d be able to be mature enough to be a decent boyfriend if he’s still letting his mother do his laundry or he doesn’t know how to manage his money.
  11. He’s always got his hand on the exit button. You can tell he’s not the type of person to want to work for a serious relationship by how he’s always ready to bail. He’s the type of guy who’ll go AWOL instead of dealing with an argument with his partner, and maybe you’ve seen glimpses of this behavior. He’s either scared to get real or he’s just keen on avoiding drama, but that really means that he’s not going to be able to deal with a real, grown-up relationship.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.