11 Obvious Signs He’s Never Had A Real Girlfriend

The guy you’ve started dating seems great, but you can’t help feeling that he’s quite inexperienced when it comes to dating. He hasn’t exactly come out and said that he’s an eternal bachelor, but it’s pretty clear that when it comes to matters of the heart, there’s a lack of experience there for sure. Here are 11 signs he’s never had a serious relationship before and how that might be a problem for you.

  1. He jumps right in. A guy who’s inexperienced when it comes to dating might be so excited at the prospect of having a relationship that he’ll jump right into one with you instead of pacing himself. He might come on too strong at first or rush through the early stages of dating. This isn’t always a bad thing but it could mean you skip past some of those all-important fundamental stages.
  2. He can’t communicate. If he’s never been in a real relationship with someone, he’ll show his lack of experience by not being able to communicate very well. Just think: he’s never been in relationship arguments or had to use his words to compromise. It can become sticky! Hopefully he’s a quick learner because you definitely don’t or want to be his teacher.
  3. He invites you to group dates. If you’ve met someone new and he keeps inviting you out to group dates instead of seeing you alone, he might be really scared to date. He needs his friends around to boost his spirits and keep him feeling confident. After a while of this, though, you might feel like you’re dating a man-child. Why doesn’t he want to spend time with you one on one?
  4. He lacks confidence. He might not just need his friends around to boost his confidence but he could also require constant reassurance from you that you’re happy with him or even just that you like him. This can also become tiring after a while. What, are you his girlfriend or babysitter?
  5. He makes dating mistakes. A guy who doesn’t have experience with dating will obviously need to practice and sharpen his skills. So, don’t be surprised if he romances you too much in the early stages of dating (he might seem like a love bomber) or his communication via text is inconsistent. This doesn’t necessarily mean he’d be a terrible boyfriend, just that he’s not sure how to be one to begin with.
  6. He’s way too available. A guy who’s entering his first real relationship might want to see you all the time. He’s going to want to be available to you whenever you want to see him. Yes, it’s cute, but it might also make you worry that he’s so desperate for a relationship that he’d happily date a mannequin. Make sure he keeps his own life going just as you should with yours.
  7. He lets you take the lead. It’s great to take charge of your relationship, but you don’t want to have to feel like you’re the one who has to do everything. A guy who’s inexperienced might not know how to take the initiative, perhaps because he’s so unsure of himself.
  8. He hogs your phone. Does it seem like he’s always lighting up your phone with new texts and calls? While an insecure guy who’s dating for the first time might not know how to take the initiative, this guy you’re with might actually be super-confident and want to steamroll through the entire relationship. It’s clear that he’s lacking the balanced approach that comes from dating experience.
  9. He doesn’t define the relationship. You might find that when you want to define things, he’s not sure how to go about it or he doesn’t even know what he wants. He’s never been in a real relationship so he doesn’t know what he’s looking for and how much of a commitment he wants.
  10. He’s on a different page. Based on the previous point, you might feel like you and this guy are on different pages completely. It might make you feel that you’re out of sync and unsure of what the future holds. While you have what it takes to be in a healthy relationship and can deal with conflicts in a positive way while knowing what you want from a partner, your partner might be lagging.
  11. He doesn’t talk about his dating history. While you might worry that he’s closed up about his exes because he’s got too many toxic relationships or he’s hiding something from you, it could be that his relationship résumé is empty. He might be shy to disclose this information, especially if he’s worried about your reaction. It’s really worth asking him before you jump the gun and assume that he’s never had a girlfriend. While it’s not necessarily a dealbreaker if he’s never dated anyone seriously, if he’s guilty of any of the points in this article then it might be.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.