Breakups don’t generally happen out of the blue, but there are turning points in some relationships when one or both people know it’s finally over. Whether it was a significant event or a personal realization, that moment when it dawns on us that things just aren’t going to work out is intense and heartbreaking. Here are 11 people’s recollection of that exact moment.
- I saw him post an Instagram with his ex. “No matter how much I asked him, he would never stop talking to his ex-girlfriend. He kept saying that he wanted to be ‘good friends’ with her, which I was against, but it always seemed to go further than that. He would get dinner with her alone, they would text constantly, and it drove me nuts. Eventually, I told him it was the last straw and he needed to break off contact completely. He promised that he would, then three days later he posted an Instagram picture with her. I texted him that we were no longer together and then blocked his number. Bye!” — Charlotte, 22
- She would never go out with me. “She was just so boring overall. She was very sweet and cute, but she refused to ever do anything. I wanted to go out and get drinks, grab dinner, or go dancing and she just wanted to stay home and read. How can we be dating if we never do anything together? She was really upset when I ended it, but did we even have a relationship?” — Mike, 19
- He told me that he wouldn’t watch my dog. “He really wasn’t a dog person, which was a huge turnoff from the start, but I thought I’d be able to covert him over time. He was just so dismissive of my little fur baby. He didn’t want us to bring him with us out to eat or shop, and just seemed to really hate my dog. I realized that our relationship wouldn’t work out when he insisted that I find a dog sitter instead of watching him while I was out of town for two weeks.” — Becca, 24
- He kept talking about how hot my friends were. “I don’t think I’m super insecure, but there’s a point where enough is enough. I asked him several times to please stop talking about my girlfriends that way, but he just kept doing it. ‘Oh, you were hanging with Jessica? She’s so hot!’ It was like that 24/7. Eventually, I told him he needed to stop or we were over and he started screaming at me in a movie theater about how I was insecure. I just walked out and never talked to him again. He tried to hit up all my friends after but they all told him to get lost.” — Krupa, 21
- She gave the waiter a really, really bad tip. “It was, like, under 10%. When I called her out on it, she started yelling at me about how she’s had it so hard in life and has come so far without help from her parents or family. I told her if she couldn’t afford to eat out, we didn’t have to—I’d be happy to cook in with her. But that made her even angrier. We kept trying to make our relationship work the next couple of weeks but it was doomed. She technically dumped me and I think she’s dating a doctor now.” — Kyle, 26
- This will sound silly, but she was such a picky eater. “Hearing her complain about food was just nails on a chalkboard for me. She was never happy with any food except fried chicken and peanut butter and jelly. I would try to take her out to a fancy restaurant and she’d complain there weren’t any chicken tenders. Smh.” — Davis, 23
- He laughed out loud when I shared my career aspirations. “I was going through a phase where I really, really wanted to be a travel agent. I loved planning things, and the idea of planning someone’s dream vacation sounded very exciting to me. I was sharing that with him and he just started laughing. I was really hurt. I didn’t end up being a travel agent, but I didn’t end up staying with him either.” — Natasha, 25
- He refused to be physical. “I understand he wasn’t very touchy-feely or super sexual, but it was such an extreme degree of separation. Every time I would bring it up, he just got mad. We were great friends, but the spark just wasn’t there for me.” — Ben, 22
- She was way too cheap. “She wouldn’t spend a dime on anything. When I came over to visit, all she had in her house was rice and beans. She would cook me rice and beans and maybe put salsa on top if we were being SUPER fancy. The thing was, she wasn’t broke! I totally understand keeping a budget, but she was a doctor working for a prestigious hospital. It just got so irritating over time and she made me feel guilty for buying a gumball.” — Michael, 31
- He started screaming at me during our first argument. “We were having a heated conversation on the phone, and he just started screaming. We’d been dating for four months at that point and it had been all about the honeymoon period. Instead of talking through our issue, he just resorted to yelling. I knew at that moment our relationship was doomed, and it was.” — Paulette, 27
- I caught him sending R-rated pics to another girl. “He had so many lame excuses, then started blaming me, but I wasn’t even listening to him. Immediately over.” — Gertrude, 21
