If someone read through a list of everyone you were following on all your social media accounts, would they be surprised by some of the names? Don’t worry, you aren’t alone. We all have a morbid curiosity about other people’s lives, even when they aren’t necessarily people (or things) we particularly like that much. We’re all just waiting for the day Facebook adds the “dislike” button, so we can passive-aggressively share our opinions without actually putting them into words.
- Your ex-boyfriend from high school. He dumped you a month after he left for college because he just “didn’t have time for a girlfriend”. All that partying and sleeping with sorority girls to worry about, you know? Now he’s a used car salesman. It’s nice to see that a breakup that felt like crap at the time was actually the best thing that could have happened to you.
- Your work frenemy. Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer, right? Her Instagram beach shots from the Friday she called in sick could come in handy one day.
- The girl who always just beat you at every thing in middle school. Just because you haven’t spoken in 10 years doesn’t mean the competition isn’t still alive and well.
- The guy you hooked up with once, and he never called you again. If he happens to be a mutual friend of a friend, there’s nothing weird about following him on Instagram? Right??
- Your ex that you’re still friendly with’s new girlfriend. Just because you don’t want to be with him anymore doesn’t mean you want him to end up with a girl who isn’t good enough for him. You’re only trying to help.
- Your step sister. Sure, you have her on Facebook because she’s “family”, but Instagram is all about seeing who she really is, and deciding whether you could see yourself being actual friends with her.
- Your old boss. You were sure she was close to having a meltdown when you finally got out of there, and it would be nice to know what’s going on with her in case you ever decide to use her as a reference.
- The girl who never left your hometown. She married her high school sweetheart, has three kids, and works part time as a receptionist at the State Farm on Main street. Her life sounds like your nightmare, but there’s something intriguingly simple about it at the same time.
- Your high school bully. Social media is like the modern version of Jenny Jones’ signature “Take a Look a Me Now!” segments. You’re successful, beautiful, and happy, and your former bully can eat her heart out.
- Fashion bloggers. They make money by dressing up, taking photos, and posting them on Instagram. They look amazing in all their free designer clothes, and you kind of hate-envy them for it.
- Your crush’s new girlfriend. What makes her so much better than you? They’ll never last, and you need to be ready to swoop in the second her status reverts back to “single”.
