11 Questions To Ask A Guy Before He Becomes Your Boyfriend

Casual dating is fine and all, but if you think you really like a guy and you’re ready to take the next step into an actual relationship, make sure you know the answers to these questions first. It will save you a whole lot of wasted time, energy, and heartbreak.

  1. What motivates you the most? You know what kicks you out of bed in the mornings to chase your dreams, get that promotion at work, and find a kick-ass passion. What about him? If he doesn’t know why he does the things he does, that’s troubling. Is he just floating through life?
  2. Is “you time” important to you in relationships? You want to be with someone who’s balanced, who can spend a whole weekend with you but then likes to do his own thing for a while. If he’s not on the same page and will freak out when you want some time to yourself, it’s not gonna work.
  3. What’s your best way to communicate? Please, please, please ask him this before you become a couple! It will show you exactly why future him isn’t going to be a big talker via text and (maybe) why that’s actually okay. Knowing how to communicate is important!
  4. How often do you like to stay in touch with your partner? Again, this is a big one you have to know ASAP. Is he the type of guy who wants to get in touch once a week or several times a day? If you’ve got a totally different number of texts you’re expecting in your inbox from him, then you’re going to want to know so that you can sync your styles.
  5. What’s your love language? This is a great one to ask because it will show you how he likes to express his love when he’s with someone as well as give you a bit more insight into what’s important to him. For example, if his love language is physical touch, he’s going to appreciate receiving your hugs. On the other hand, if his love language is quality time, you know he’s going to want to spend lots of one-on-one dates with you.
  6. What do you like to do with your friends? Not only will this be a great opener for him to actually organize a meet-up with his mates, but it will show you what he’s like with them. Do they get drunk every weekend without fail? Do they spend hours playing Xbox games as though dead to the world? What he’s like with his friends is important because that’s the version of him you’ll be dealing with many times in your relationship.
  7. What was your last relationship like? Bam, you went there and good for you. You have to unpack his ex-files (and share yours) before getting into a serious relationship with him. It’ll show you tons about him, like if he takes any responsibility for any breakups that happened, if he’s full of himself (like by stating that all his exes were totally mad) and so on.
  8. How would you define cheating? Some people think that cheating always involves sex, while others would say that micro-cheating is just as much of a betrayal. It helps to know where he’s at on the issue because it will help you both understand where your boundaries lie.
  9. What do you like the most about our relationship? Ah, this is a biggie! By asking him this question, you’ll not only suss out what he thinks of you but also what value he sees you bringing into his life. Does he love sexy mornings with you the most, or does he like feeling like he’s got someone who supports him no matter what?
  10. What was it like being single? Maybe he was single for a few weeks before you guys got together, or maybe he was single for years. Whatever the case, he should have some positive things to say about his time as a single guy so that you can tell that he’s able to make himself happy and he’s not desperate to be with someone.
  11. How have you changed in the last few months/years? You want to be with someone who grows as a person and who can take stock of where they are versus where they used to be. You also want to be with someone who can see their past mistakes and who’s not afraid to take charge and strive to become better.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.