11 Reasons To Leave The Guy Who Gives You Mixed Messages Right Now

One minute he’s nuts about you and the next he acts like he can’t be bothered. He’s blowing hot and cold, so why are you still waiting around for him? Here’s why you need to get out of this situationship ASAP and stop wasting your time.

  1. You don’t need the anxiety. There’s no way you can be chilled out about this guy’s mixed messages. You’re anxious 24/7 wondering how he’s going to be the next time you talk to him, but you don’t deserve to be feeling that all the time. Plus, if this is happening so early on in your dealings with this person, that’s even more worrying.
  2. You’re too old for unnecessary drama. Life’s stressful enough as it is. You have lots of other things to worry about so you don’t need someone who’s making you wonder where they’re at. That’s drama you don’t need in your life.
  3. You can’t change him, so why bother? If you think you can change your date’s behavior by initiating contact with them a lot more so that you can make them talk to you or be more reliable, you’re wasting your time. You’re putting in so much more effort for someone who’s not giving you anything in return.
  4. It’s only going to get worse. Fact: how a person behaves in the early days of dating you is a preview of how they’re going to behave once you get together. Why would you stick around for that?
  5. You’re just encouraging him. By accepting his mixed messages, you’re really telling him that he can treat you however he wants to and you’ll still be there. This can also have the effect of making them think they can increase their unreliability because if you accept the small insults and misdemeanors, you’ll likely accept the bigger ones. Don’t be that person.
  6. He doesn’t like you enough. If someone wants to be with you, they’re going to be clear about their wants and feelings right from the start. They’re not going to blow hot and cold. If they do, ice them out.
  7. What if he’s confused? You might think that he’s just a bit confused about what he wants, or perhaps he’s a bit lost because he’s just out of a LTR… The thing is, even if that’s true, it doesn’t give him the right to lead you on. Not only that, but you shouldn’t have to end up confused or lost because of him! Honestly, if he’s a hot mess right now, the best thing he can do is just not date for a while.
  8. You should see your own value. When you meet someone, you know right away if they’re someone who interests you and if you’d like to see them again. So, why would you waste your time with someone who doesn’t see your value from the start? If someone you’ve just started dating can’t be clear about their feelings, they’re disrespecting you. Period.
  9. It’s not your job to convince him. One day he’ll text you every few hours, but then the next day he’ll disappear without a trace. When you walk past him, he’ll ignore you, but then the next time he sees you he’ll act like you’re the only woman in the room. What the hell? This kind of behavior can make you think you should try to persuade him to like you in a more consistent way, but it’s clear he’s on his own mission. Besides, you should never try to persuade anyone to date you. You’re worth more than that.
  10. His message is crystal clear. It’s easy to try to read into those mixed messages for a clear answer as to how the person’s feeling or what they want from you, but the thing to bear in mind is this: the only clear message is that if he felt for you, he wouldn’t be sending you confusing signals! Focus on that and you’ll stop wasting your energy on losers.
  11. Those positive clues mean nothing. What keeps us holding on to people who give us mixed messages? It’s what we view to be positive clues, like if they send us flirtatious messages or talk about how much they’d like for us to meet their BFFs. But don’t focus on those things while totally ignoring all the guy’s negative signs and behaviors. They show you who he really is and can help you to realize it’s time to GTFO before you waste more of your time on him. Go on and give it to someone who actually deserves it.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.