11 Sacrifices I Won’t Make When Dating Someone—And You Shouldn’t Either

Sure, there are times in a relationship where sacrifices and compromises are necessary, but there are some things I just won’t sacrifice in a partnership with another person—and you shouldn’t either.

  1. The pace I need in the relationship I move slow in relationships; I need to keep a snail’s pace to feel comfortable. This is definitely something that I’m totally unwilling to compromise on. I need very specific things and the only way I’d adjust my needs would be if someone needed longer than me to get physical. On the other hand, I wouldn’t even consider it if they wanted to have sex quicker than I was ready.
  2. The person I am Sometimes when people get into relationships, they turn into an amorphous blob. They lose all the parts of themselves that they came into it with. I won’t do this. I refuse to sacrifice all of those little parts of me that make who I am. For example, if someone didn’t like my loud laugh, I would get rid of them and not the laugh. I love myself just as I am.
  3. My friendships Another thing to go for some people is time spent with friends. Especially in codependent relationships, people make the sacrifice to stop hanging out with their buddies so much. This is definitely something I don’t want to do. I plan to keep my friendships front and center where they belong.
  4. Me time Few things are as important as me time. Self-care is my jam. It’s so important to make sure that I’m giving myself time to practice self-care by having all of my needs met and having a little fun. That face mask once a week may seem like an extra but it’s actually essential for my well-being. No partner is worth giving up my me time and the right one would never try to.
  5. My spirituality Sometimes the word “spirituality” is a scare for people but that doesn’t matter to me. I’ll never sacrifice my spiritual beliefs or practices for another person to be comfortable. I’m still going to meditate, go to church, and pray no matter what my partner thinks of it. I’m also not going to get too wrapped up in my partner that I start to let these things slip.
  6. My dreams I have goals, aspirations, and dreams—I think a bit about my wants for the future. These dreams aren’t set in stone, of course—I don’t even know that they’re going to happen. Nonetheless, I can still hope for them and work towards them. There are some things I’d be willing to compromise on to fit the relationship, but my important dreams aren’t one of them.
  7. My intuition When something feels right, my intuition is settled and calm. It’s a feeling of serenity. On the other hand, if something’s off, like the relationship not being right, then my intuition feels unsettled and uneasy. It’s then a feeling like something’s wrong. I’m not willing to sit with that feeling of something being off.
  8. My interests Some people lose their hobbies when they start dating someone. They spend all of their time with their partner and they stop going to that class or playing that sport they love. I intend to never sacrifice my hobbies. I know that time needs to be made for a partner and I may cut down on them a little bit, but I’d like to never give them up entirely. They’re too important to me.
  9. My happiness This one should be a given, right? Unfortunately, it happens. Things get too comfortable while also messy and they start to be unhappy. If this begins to happen in a relationship, I’m out. There’s no way I’m willing to sacrifice my smiling face for a relationship that clearly isn’t working anyway.
  10. My freedom It’s thought that you lose your freedom when you get into a relationship, but that’s only a specific kind of freedom. The kind that I’m talking about is my autonomy as a human being. I won’t sacrifice my ability to make my own choices and do my own thing. When I date someone, we are two separate people; we aren’t one entity. I intend to act that way.
  11. My needs Sometimes physical needs can be sacrificed, like not eating for too long because you’re spending time with someone. More often, needs are talking about what we require in a relationship like time and attention. Again, there are compromises worth making, but I have certain deal breakers and things that are important to me that I just won’t bend on.
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at ginelletesta.com.