When it comes to sleeping with somebody new, there’s one big internal question we all tend to struggle with: is he going to call after? If you’re just looking for something casual then you might not be bogged down by the fear of ghosting, but if you’re one of those who’s looking to find someone, it’s a situation you’re trying to avoid altogether. While you can’t predict the future, you can look for these signs:
- He already doesn’t call you. If the communication between you two is already basic as hell, there’s not a huge likelihood that it’ll suddenly become more intimate and romantic after you sleep together. Guys are only going to put in so much effort if they’re just trying to get in your pants. If it feels like he’s doing the bare minimum when it comes to talking to you, then that’s your cue that that’s all he’s willing to do.
- Or he calls you too much. On the opposite end, if he’s blowing up your phone like there’s no tomorrow, it’s not because he likes you so much. Guys know that a girl’s more likely to sleep with them if they feel super wanted. There are some jerks out there that use that knowledge to their advantage. If you’re still in the very early stages of getting to know each other and he’s telling you how much of a “connection” he thinks you have, don’t buy it. There are always exceptions, of course, but typically men don’t want to scare off a woman they want to date by coming on too strong.
- He just got out of a relationship. The rebound is real, ladies, and it’s not smart for you to think you’re above getting-back-at-the-ex booty call. Time is the most revealing element in this sign, so make sure you know exactly when they broke up. If it’s been at least three months, you’re probably safe, but if he’s still talking about her — no matter how much time has passed — then it’s obvious he’s not over it.
- You haven’t gone on an actual date. You’ve met for drinks or hung out at a party you both happened to be attending, but that’s about it. If he hasn’t tried to take you out for dinner, it’s because he’s not going to spend any extra time or money if he doesn’t have to. You’re not crazy for expecting a guy to try to treat you like his girlfriend before you actually are because when a guy does want you to be his girlfriend (or is at least thinking about it), he will. That starts by taking you on a real date.
- He has a pretty extensive hit-it-and-quit-it history. Ladies, please don’t sleep with a guy without doing a little recon. All it takes is a little investigating and social media stalking to find out if he’s a player or not. Just ask other girls you’re both mutual friends with if he’s known to sleep around and eventually you’ll have your answer. If he’s got a revealing pattern, there’s someone who’s been hurt along the way enough to want to blow his cover.
- You’ve only ever been drunk together. If the time you guys spend together is a constant party, then that’s all he’s going to see it as. When a guy really likes you, he won’t want to make a drunken fool out of himself. He’ll drink, sure, but he’ll monitor it to keep himself from saying something stupid, so if you have a lot of memories of this guy being totally blacked out, he doesn’t really care that much how you see him.
- He’s inconsistent with how much he talks and sees you. Sometimes it feels like it’s going somewhere and then it’s like you never existed. You’re not crazy, he’s just driving you that way — and he’s not doing it on purpose. You’re just not on his mind that much, so he forgets to talk to you. Is that someone you really want to sleep with?
- He’s tried to get into your pants before. History has a really cute way of repeating itself. So if you’ve already experienced his late night “you up?” text, you should already know what you’re getting. It’s very rare that a guy will have a big change of heart and go from just wanting to sleep with you, to wanting to marry and have kids with you. Proceed with a lot of caution.
- He’s tried to get into your friend’s pants before. This goes back to the pre-coitus investigation you must do, but if you know for a fact that he has or has tried to sleep with one of your friends, don’t think you’ll be any different. Unless he’s been upfront and even apologetic about it, take it as a warning sign and turn around.
- He’s made some hints that he doesn’t want to be tied down. He’s straight up told you that he likes being single or that he hates relationship. People don’t just say these things to say them. He’s not trying to get you to change his mind. Pay attention and take everything he says as exactly what he means because most guys are playing word games.
- You just met, like, four hours ago. This one is slightly obvious but bears mentioning. The likelihood of him not calling after you sleep with him is at it’s highest when you haven’t known each other for more than an evening. Don’t expect a fairytale outcome from a boozy one-night stand.
