The dating world can be an exhausting, draining downer, so when you start dating a guy who seems charming and wonderful, it’s easy to dismiss any bad behavior in an effort to make things work. Obviously, that’s a terrible idea. Eventually, his true colors will blend together and crap all over your life. Don’t let that happen. Here are the warning signs he’s actually a total jerk:
- He doesn’t ask you any questions. He might be extremely engaged when you ask him questions, but if he’s not putting in an effort to get to know you, he’s a jerk. The only reason he answers your questions is because he loves talking about himself. He doesn’t care about your answers to those same questions because he’s a self-absorbed fool who’s absolutely not worth your time.
- He never initiates contact. Screw the rules that say he needs to make the first move or he needs to call you the day after sex. None of that matters in 2016. You wanna text him first? Do it. You wanna sext him late at night? Get it, girl. He should make some effort to talk to you, though. That should never be one-sided. If it is, he’s a jerk, and a lazy one at that.
- He takes way too many selfies. There’s nothing wrong the occasional selfie, but even most models, celebrities and personal trainers don’t post selfies every single day of their lives – and their careers rely heavily on how they look. So if you check out your dude’s feed and it’s just an endless stream of selfies – without any memes or scenic shots in between – he’s probably too in love with himself to properly love you. Especially if all those selfies are shirtless and taken in bathrooms. Ugh.
- He treats people in the service industry like garbage. The way a person treats servers and baristas can tell you a whole lot about who they are. If your new BF is rude, demanding or insensitive to a person who is essentially being paid to take care of his most basic needs, then you can expect the same treatment if you two get more serious. Drop him now.
- He can’t handle serious discussions. Any guy who shuts down or blows up during a discussion about a serious topic – like your future together, religion or politics – is not worth your time. The beauty of the human race is that we all have different views, backgrounds and feelings, and we all deserve respect when sharing our stance during a debate on a complex topic. If he can’t handle that, then he’s got a lot of growing up to do.
- His mistakes are never his fault. He didn’t call you yesterday because his boss was being a jerk and made him stay late. He canceled your date last-minute because his idiot friend came over and made him re-watch the GoT season finale. Look, things come up, but if he can’t step up and take the blame when he does something wrong, there’s a problem. You know what that means? He’s a jerk.
- He expects you to always agree with him. Maybe he’ll state an opinion on something over drinks and you let him know that you respectfully disagree and proceed to tell him why. Decent men will listen, note your interesting viewpoint and tell you that they agree or disagree with your side. A jerk will stare at you with wide eyes and wonder why you aren’t agreeing with him on all things. People who challenge him remind him of his shortcomings, and jerks can’t handle that.
- He thinks sexist/racist/terrible jokes are funny. There’s a fine line between laughing at satirical jokes that are creative and well-executed and laughing at lazy, ignorant jokes that are made at the expense of minorities or women. If he can’t tell the difference and LOLs frequently at the latter, he’s a jerk. He’s also not very smart.
- He doesn’t like your pet. Never ever trust a dude who doesn’t instantly fall in love with your fur baby. Your pet is a priority to you, and a major part of your life. If he isn’t a fan of said pet, he’s choosing to ignore something you love. Unless he suffered a traumatic experience with an animal and is now crippled with fear, he should be showering your pet with snuggles.
- He suggests you change yourself in any way. Even if it’s subtle, like suggesting you order a healthier dish at dinner than the one you chose. Seeing this behavior in the early stages of a relationship means that it will only get worse. It also means that this moron doesn’t see how amazing you are as-is. Kick him to the curb, bb.
- He doesn’t give without expecting to receive. Giving you anything, from gifts to dinners to sexual acts, should not require you to do anything in return. A good guy will give you something just to make you happy. Sure, a healthy relationship is all about give and take, but if he demands you repay him immediately for his acts of kindness, then this relationship will suck, and you will be miserable.
