In my opinion, you can pretty much always tell whether or not a guy is going to be a crappy boyfriend. Of course, there are those manipulators who can hide their true selves pretty well but for the most part, guys aren’t too good at being shady—all you have to do is pay very close attention. Before you agree to move any further with the guy you’re interested in, watch out for these warning signs.
- He’s already disappointed you. Everyone makes mistakes, but a guy who’s trying to impress you is going to do his best to avoid making stupid mistakes. He’s trying to woo you! That means he’s going to call, compliment, and show up! If he’s already dropping the ball, don’t assume he’ll get better once the relationship is official because he won’t.
- He never apologizes. An apology is an “I’m sorry.” If instead of apologizing when he does something wrong, he buys you presents or blames someone else for his mistake (but does it in a very heartfelt way), he’s most likely manipulative but he DEFINITELY has a big ego. Some guys with big egos can be good boyfriends, but if you mix a big ego with manipulative tendencies, things will get messy.
- He hasn’t mentioned his exes. You’ve asked him about his past relationships but he’s never really given you any information. Unless he’s crazy shy and afraid to talk (which is another sign he won’t be a good BF), he’s probably remaining quiet because he’s not over one or all of his exes.
- He makes you feel anxious. Maybe it’s because he takes forever to text back, or maybe it’s because you just can’t figure out his feelings for you. Whatever the reason, something about him makes you a little anxious. Is he already driving you crazy? That will just get worse after you start spending more time together.
- He’s a little TOO private. Are you the type of person who likes to share? Then you’re probably going to pay way more attention to his private behavior. You’ve spent a good amount of time together and yet you don’t know anything about his family or his background. I’m not saying he has something to hide—he could just be a private person who doesn’t open up to a lot of people—but if he’s not opening up to you, you’ve got to wonder how great of a boyfriend he’d be.
- All of his exes are actually crazy. So maybe he has mentioned his exes but, in his words, “they’re all crazy.” Honestly, I recommend doing some low-key research on his exes’ (via Instagram) to find out if they’re actually crazy. If they are, that means there’s more of a problem with him than the girls. A guy who dates crazy girls is a guy who lives for the drama. He won’t make a good boyfriend (unless, of course, you’re crazy too).
- He’s always busy. You don’t spend that much time together because he’s either too tired after work or already has other plans to meet up with his friends. Please, please, please don’t think this kind of behavior is acceptable. Don’t try to make yourself feel better by saying, “Oh, well we’re not together-together. It makes sense he’s not trying to see me all the time.” False. If he’s not trying to see you now, I can promise you he’ll be the kind of boyfriend who’s never around or treating you like a priority.
- He has a lot of female friends. You might be OK with your guy having a lot of girl friends. However, I think that’s a pretty big warning sign—especially if it seems like those friends are a little too close to him. It would be one thing if the girls were dating his guy friends, but if they aren’t, why the hell are they always spending so much time with the guy you’re interested in seeing?
- He makes all the plans. He always has to call the shots! He’s the one who decides when you two are going to hang out, and he’s the one who plans the dates. You might not think this is a red flag, but it can show signs of a manipulative behavior. When you text him to make plans, he’s too busy but when it’s his idea to hang out, it always happens. Sound familiar? Run!
- He’s trying to figure out his life. He’s very vocal about his struggles right now, and you might find that endearing. I’m not saying he’s a jerk. However, he’s probably not going to be the best boyfriend at this current time. He doesn’t know who he is, he doesn’t know where his life is going, and he’s stressing about his future. Be his friend, but don’t try to be any more. He’s too inconsistent to be a stable BF.
- You’re rarely on the same page. This sign is very easy to miss in the beginning because you’re so focused on the excitement of a new relationship. You don’t pay attention to how well you two communicate because all you care about is that you’re communicating! But if you two are rarely on the same page about things, and the only topic you can talk about is your pets…c’mon. He’s not going to be the boyfriend for you. He might not be terrible, but he’ll be terrible for you.
