You’ve met a guy with plenty of great qualities and you’re starting to think there might be potential there. However, if he exhibits any of these qualities, it’s probably better to run in the opposite direction because he’s toxic and you’re better off without him.
He seems a little too perfect.
Your mom was right: if he seems perfect, something’s wrong. He could be putting on an act to impress you until he gets you where he wants you before he lets his true colors show. The kind guy might become temperamental, or the humorous guy might become a dark cloud who’s always negative. He can only keep the act up for so long.
He makes you feel crazy.
You know that he said he went to visit his friend on Saturday night, yet now he’s saying he never said that. This is the classic toxic man behavior: making you second-guess yourself. Ugh.
He’s two guys in one.
One day he’s making you laugh until your face hurts, the next he’s totally giving you the silent treatment. Toxic people tend to be all over the place, and it’s all about them trying to control you. This way, they keep you in a constant state of not knowing what to expect from them.
He’s a walking sob story.
Does it seem like this guy always has a sob story? He can’t pay his rent this month because he was helping his mom out with money, so now he needs you to pay it for him. He lost his job because his boss was so rude. Yeah, he always has to be the victim.
He puts you down.
A toxic guy might not be blatant about how he puts you down, but he’ll resort to other tactics to make your confidence wobble. For example, he might give you a backhanded compliment or pretend he was “just joking” when he made that mean comment. Meanwhile, you end up feeling a nameless dread.
He tries to sort out your life.
This is one of the most infuriating things to deal with in a toxic guy because who the hell asked him for help? He will act like you have to sort out your life, whether that involves cutting out nasty friends or working on your career aspirations, but then he’ll conveniently have a blindspot when it comes to how his life falls short. Of course he would – he never takes responsibility for anything.
He’s a mansplainer.
Linked to the above point is the guy who expects you not to know stuff. So, he’ll mansplain to you about things that you already know, but he just never cares to consider that you have as much knowledge as he does – or tons more. SMH.
He’s a commitment-fake.
Okay, okay, so dealing with a commitment-phobe in itself can be annoying and toxic, but it’s even worse if he pretends to want to commit but then you see him behaving differently. For example, he tells you how much he loves you and wants to date you, but then when he’s with his friends they all joke about how they’d rather die than have a serious girlfriend. What the hell? This is toxic simply because of how much it messes with your head.
He drains you.
This is another classic toxic-person symptom! After spending time with your crush or boyfriend, you feel exhausted. At the very least, you should feel at peace after a date. But with this guy, you never feel settled. That’s because your gut’s trying to tell you that something’s not right!
He’s a spotlight hogger.
This guy has to be the main focus in your life and if he’s not in the spotlight, he sulks or gives you the silent treatment. Yup, it’s like dealing with a child. Heaven forbid you need his attention for a change. He won’t like that at all.
He can’t handle “no.”
This is a huge red flag to get the heck away from this guy. Anyone who can’t deal with being said “no” to is a toxic person. If he’s already showing small signs of this by getting upset when you can’t move things around in your schedule to see him, then you know that dealing with him is going to be a stressful, hateful experience. You don’t need that crap in your life.
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