11 Signs He’s Experiencing Cheating Guilt

Has your boyfriend ever done something that seemed sweet but you couldn’t help but think it just didn’t feel genuine? Chances are you felt bad for thinking that, but he could be overcompensating for something. In fact, maybe he’s being so nice because he’s been unfaithful to you you. Here are 11 signs that he’s experiencing cheating guilt.

  1. He brings you flowers. He never, ever used to bring you flowers and now suddenly bouquets are popping up left and right. But check what happened before he came home with a gorgeous bunch of your favorite tulips. Did he go AWOL? Did he do something else to piss you off? If so, then the flowers are his way of trying to distract you from that.
  2. He asks you not to hurt him. He gets all emotional out of the blue and says, “Please don’t ever hurt me.” Um, okay. While sweet, if this feels out of character for him then maybe he’s already hurt you and the dude’s totally projecting.
  3. He’s suspicious of you. Linked to the above point is if he’s worried that you could be cheating on him even though you’ve given him absolutely no reason to suspect that. This is also a type of projecting. In a sick way, he’s probably hoping you are guilty of cheating on him so that he won’t have to carry around the burden of guilt for having betrayed you all on his lonesome.
  4. He gives you the best sex of your life. Although a lack of sex could point to him getting his rocks off elsewhere, if he’s bringing all his passion to the bedroom and really focusing on giving you amazing sex, the guy could be doing this out of guilt. He’s trying desperately to fix things and make you feel good around him.
  5. He says he’s cleaning up for you. One of the classic signs that a guy’s cheating is if he suddenly pays more attention to his appearance. Maybe he works out at the gym, stops indulging in ice cream late at night, or styles his hair so he looks gorgeous. When you ask him about the changes, he says he wants to look good for you. If it doesn’t feel right, then he could be lying through his professionally whitened teeth because his side woman is the one he’s really cleaning up for.
  6. He’s guilty of grand gestures. It’s not just flowers he’s bringing you. He’s booking mini holidays to your favorite destinations. He’s serenading you when it’s not even your birthday. It’s like love bombing for the guilty, and you might feel it in your gut that he’s laying it on thick to try to keep you from smelling a rat.
  7. He dances around the kitchen. If the guy was never really romantic and now he’s picking you up and dancing with you around the kitchen, you might love that he’s so smitten with your relationship. Hold on. Any big change that seems to come out of nowhere is something that you should be suspicious of. What if this guy’s just in a good mood around you because he’s so smitten with someone else? Hmm.
  8. He’s always trying to make you laugh. Now, humor is awesome. In fact, it’s one of the sexiest qualities to look for in a partner. But there’s a problem if the guy you’re dating is suddenly cracking jokes all the time – it’s especially a red flag if he resorts to jokes and trying to make you laugh when you need to have a serious conversation with him, like about who he’s been having dinner with lately.
  9. He calls you late at night. No, it’s not a booty call. The guy’s always battling to sleep lately. Hmmm. Could this be a sign of a guilty conscience? It very possibly could, especially if you already suspect him of cheating. While it’s easy for him to distract himself from feelings of guilt during the day when he’s busy, at night those feelings are harder to push away, so he ends up calling you to help him out.
  10. He’s trying to win best boyfriend of the year. He never used to try to make you happy to the point where you were almost claustrophobic with his attention, but now he’s doing that and it feels weird. Maybe he’s always going OTT with doing chores around the house or he’s saying he could help you out with your workload/car service/other things that you need to do. WTF? The guy’s trying to make himself feel better by being more present in your relationship.
  11. He’s suddenly become jealous. Again, if he never used to be the jealous type but now he’s very protective of you and looks seriously pissed when someone hits on you in public, he might worry you’ll walk away from him. Even though he was the one who strayed, it’s made him afraid of losing you and he doesn’t want it to happen. It’s sad that it took cheating to make him realize what he had.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.