11 Signs He’s Lying About Wanting A Relationship

He seems pretty keen on you, but is he being honest about wanting a relationship or is he totally fooling you? Here are 11 signs that prove the latter. Don’t waste your time on him if you’re looking for something real because he’s not going to give it to you.

  1. He doesn’t “do labels.” Insert eye roll. He’s the guy who invites you out and acts like your boyfriend but then claims that he doesn’t like or do relationship labels. Maybe he doesn’t see the point of them or he doesn’t like to be boxed in. What he’s really saying is that he doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship. No labels? No relationship. It’s really that simple.
  2. He doesn’t connect with you. He says he’s in awe of you or he gives you some other compliment, but after a while, it feels empty because he never really wants to step into your mind. He doesn’t ask you questions about your life, goals, and so on. You sometimes wonder what he even knows about you.
  3. He wants to undress you right away. While he doesn’t want to step into your mind, he does want you to step into his bedroom. In fact, that’s the first thing he wants to do when he makes his move. It’s not just that he’s so crazy about you that he can’t wait to take things to the next level because…
  4. He only ever wants to have sex. This guy doesn’t ask you out to dinner or to see a show. He’s always texting you to ask you to go to his place, yet he claims that he’s keen on being your boyfriend? Don’t buy it. The most he wants is a FWB setup. Don’t be surprised when he only ever texts you in the wee hours.
  5. He never wants to go on dates. If it always feels like he only wants you to go over to his place instead or go to that new club or restaurant across town, it’s not just that he wants to focus on a physical relationship but he doesn’t want to go public with your relationship. You’re living in a bubble and it’s about to burst.
  6. His ex is always around. She might not physically be around in his life anymore, but his ex’s ghost is always lurking. He’ll talk about her with a really sad look in his eye or get angry about what happened in their breakup. She clearly did a number on him and maybe the guy’s not over her. This could be holding him back from jumping into something new.
  7. He’s not making you number one. You have to find out about how his job interview went by logging into social media. You’re never invited out to important events in his life. You’re the backburner girl. 
  8. He’s hot and cold. He gives you loads of mixed messages. One minute, he’s flirting with you and the next, he’s not calling you for five days or standing you up. Clearly the guy’s not serious about you, otherwise, he’d step up to the plate.
  9. He’s tired himself out. When he first met you, he was all about chasing you. Now that he’s got you, it’s like he’s tired after a long run and just wants to flop down on the couch. Ugh. A guy who’s really interested in having a serious relationship with you won’t just stop making an effort or make you feel like he can take you or leave you because you’re not important.
  10. He leaves it up to you. Does it feel like he’s just going through the motions of your relationship? You ask him what he wants to do and he’s just like, “Whatever you want.” You’re the one who has to initiate contact and make plans. You might as well just be dating yourself because the guy’s not even present!
  11. He leaves you worried. If you had to stop making contact and freeze him out for a while, you worry that you’d never hear from the guy again. Yikes. That’s a clear sign that he’s not making any real effort in your relationship and he’s just taking up space in your life.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.